


Beautiful Goodbye

by ALittleShevine (Mazinmeems)



Category: Adam Levine (Musician), Blake Shelton (Musician), The Voice (US) RPF
Genre: A lot of sex, Anal Sex, But not really that much, Caring Adam Levine, Description really sucks, Drunk Sex, Goodbyes, I promise the story is better, M/M, Oral Sex, Sexual Content, Sick Blake Shelton, Sorry Not Sorry, The Shevine Project
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-03-22 10:31:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 36,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3725479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mazinmeems/pseuds/ALittleShevine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They all think Blake's just struggling with his divorce. If only they knew the truth, but with Blake pushing them away before they get too close and his reluctance to let them know what's really going on it seems unlikely they will. Not if Blake has his way. No, Blake doesn't want anyone finding out exactly what's wrong with him. But they might just have to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Blake was fine. Absolutely 100% fine. At least, that’s what he was telling everyone. 

“You sure man?” Adam asked for the thousandth time that day.

“Adam, look, I’m perfectly fine.” And he plastered on a cheesy grin complete with dimples and everyone fell for it with a laugh. Behind closed doors is an entirely different matter. So Blake may be pushing people away, but only in preparation for the inevitable. Because Blake is not fine. 

Blake is so not fine that him and Miranda split, and he loved her with a passion only matching his love for one other, but he will not let her watch him slip away like that. So, he was an ass and he made sure she left, he’s pretty sure she worked out why but he never had the guts to ask. And most likely never will. Maybe if he makes it through this. Maybe.  
Although he can’t help but notice how she never put up that much of a fight. They act civil towards each other still, their friendship is something that will never fade, and managed to somehow keep the information on the down low. 

And it looks like Blake took the news hard. The other coaches and Carson worked it out pretty quickly, they thought that was because of Miranda and sure having her gone kinda sucked but he soon realised he didn’t mind nearly as much as he thought he would. Blake lost weight, too much for such a short period of time, his eyes lost their special sparkle, he always looked tired, the list goes on and on. He wasn’t eating and soon they noticed he wasn’t drinking; Blake was sober. And not long after they confronted him about all this he started pushing them away too. It’s for their own good. It really is.

 

 

“Dude, you are really starting to worry me.” Adam confessed one night after filming had finished, they’d invited him out for drinks but all Blake wanted to do was get home and collapse into his bed. So he turned them down once again, silently praying that they’ll finally get the message and just stop asking him.

“I’m just not in the mood tonight Adam.” 

“You are never in the mood anymore.” The sigh that escaped from Adam’s mouth was full of sadness and disappointment and Blake hated being the cause of all that. “I know that having no more Miranda sucks ass, I get it honestly I do. But man, you gotta snap out of it.” Blake appreciated the sentiment, he really did, if only Adam knew. What’s worse is, even when he was married to Miranda his heart was never fully in it. Not after meeting Adam. Miranda knew it, from the first night after those blind auditions she accepted it and Blake never let it go further than some teasing and his own imagination. But Adam held just as much, if not more, of his heart as Miranda did.

“If I say yes will you shut the hell up?” Adam’s eyes lit up in a way that had Blake’s stomach flip flopping around and any regret was blown out the water, he can sit there for a while and pretend to be alright he knows it. Then he can go home and collapse in a heap, most likely feeling very sorry for himself. “Come on then City Boy.”

“You got it Big Country.” Adam linked his arm through Blake’s and led him outside.

“You know, I think I can make my own way.” Blake commented, a fond smile on his face as he looked down at the arm that was attached to his.

“I know. Just wanna make sure you don’t get lost along the way and end up, I dunno, at your house or summin.” Blake rolled his eyes, but Adam had a fair point, the thought had crossed Blake’s mind more than once.

“It’s alright Adam. I’ll meet you at the bar. I promise.” The two locked eyes for longer than they should have, but neither one called it out when they finally tore their gaze away.

“Okay Country, see ya there.” And Adam bounced away with Blake’s eyes lingering on him.

“Damn it.” Blake cursed, smashing his fist on the side of the truck. He just knows there will be alcohol involved, always is with Adam, and he also clearly remembers the doctors words. ‘Do not drink alcohol.’ He had stopped drinking pretty much straight away, threw away every last drop that night and only has the occasional moment of weakness. A shot here and there didn’t hurt anyone. But a night with Adam would definitely hurt. A night with Adam means a hell of a lot of alcohol. With a sigh Blake promised himself he wouldn’t drink that night, nowhere near as much as Adam, but he knew even then it was an empty promise and as soon as Adam looks at him with those puppy dog eyes he’ll cave.


	2. Chapter 2

“Blake! Buddy, I am so glad you made it.” Carson smiled and pulled him into a hug, Christina and Pharrell were smiling at him too and Blake just felt so bad that they don’t know for a second the truth was on the tip of his tongue.

“Hey guys, so what drinks am I getting?” Adam’s voice scared the words back quite suddenly as people rattled off their orders.

“A coke.”

“Alright vodka and coke.” Adam nodded.

“No Adam. Just coke. I don’t drink anymore.” Each head at the table spun to stare at him.

“Look Blake, it’s great that you are trying to be healthier but in moderation. One drink won’t hurt.” Pharrell reminded him. If only he knew the truth.

“Blake, come on. It’s not a party if you don’t drink.” His mistake was turning to look at Adam, and damn he was right, one look at those big hazel eyes and his pouting lips and all resolve crumbled.

“Fine. But you forced this on me.” He grumbled, looking less than happy about it, not that anyone at the table noticed. They were deep in conversation with Pharrell rambling on about robots of all things as Christina listened intently. 

“Hey man, smile.” Carson nudged him, but Blake recognised the concern in his eyes.

“Sorry, just tired. Adam can be very persuasive when he wants to be.” His eyes were drawn to the man leaning over the bar, the way his clothes hugged his body leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination as Blake’s eyes appreciated everything about him.

“You know, Adam is single again.” Carson whispered into Blake’s ear, startling him out of staring for a second.

“What?”

“Him and Behati broke it off a few weeks ago, I thought you knew.” Carson shrugged.

“Not that. Why would you point that out?”

“It’s so obvious you are into him Blake.” He rolled his eyes at his stupid country friend. “Maybe, he’d be appreciative of a move.” He raised his eyes suggestively as Blake returned his gaze to Adam and this time not even trying to hide it since apparently everyone knew.

 

 

Blake drank too much. Way too much. And he may have an outstanding tolerance for alcohol, but he knows that tomorrow he will regret this and right now he’s having trouble working out what’s wrong and right. But he’ll be damned if he’s not doing it. He grabbed Adam’s arm, pulling him to face him and ignoring the look of confusion on his friend's face before smashing his lips against Adam’s in a passionate, albeit drunk and messy, kiss.

“Blake.” Adam sighed. “You don’t want this.” He gently pushed his eager friend away.

“No. I do Adam. I’m just not usually this courageous. Now stop trying to be a gentleman and take advantage already.” Who could say no to the country hunk? Not Adam, nope, Adam threw everything he could into the next kiss, this one with a little more finesse considering they were both pretty drunk. 

“My place or yours?” Adam gasped out after finally breaking away for air.

“Whichever is closest.” Blake panted in response before attacking Adam’s neck as he tried to use his brain to work out which place was closer, and it may have taken longer than it should have but all the blood in his body was going down and he was struggling to function. But soon enough they were on their way to Adam’s place for a night of drunken sex.

 

 

When Blake woke up the next morning the hangover hit him hard, as did the guilt, followed fairly swiftly by fear.

“I brought you some tablets.” Adam announced, speaking softly as he placed them beside Blake. He seemed unaware of the inner turmoil going on with his best friend. “So, I, uh, we should probably talk about last night.” Adam finally made a sentence.

“I won’t apologise Adam. I wanted it. And I get it, you were drunk. So don’t worry about it-” Whatever else Blake had to say was lost in the kiss he received from Adam.

“Why would I not want to carry this on Blake?” And Blake really did think about it. Never had he expected Adam to respond that way, because if he thought he would have then things may have been different. Because if there is one thing Blake doesn’t have the guts to do, it’s break Adam’s heart. 

“So. You do?”

“I do if you do.” Adam nodded, one hand resting on Blake’s thigh.

“We got to keep this thing quiet.”

“Damn it Blake, I’m not an idiot.” Adam rolled his eyes at Blake, but his smile remained loving and Blake hoped to God that something would stop this because he never wants to break Adam. Ever. And whether he does it purposely or through things he can’t control, he just can’t stand the thought. As a wave of nausea over took him he was suddenly reminded of the fear. 

“I know Adam. Look, I have a call to make.” And Blake rushed to the bathroom, closing and locking the door and moving as far away from it as possible. He dialled the number he had memorised and waited with a thumping heart for an answer.

“This is Dr Morgan speaking, how can I help you?”

“Hey Doc, it’s Blake.”

“What’s wrong?” The urgency in Morgan’s voice scared Blake even more.

“I drank last night.”

“It’s not the first time Blake.” Morgan reminded him.

“No I mean, I drank a lot.” He could hear the exasperated sigh.

“You need to get to the surgery now then.”

“I can’t, I’m at a friend’s place.”

“Blake, I’m not entirely sure what you want from me, you need to get your stomach pumped ASAP. The longer you leave it the more trouble it’ll cause. You can come now, tonight, tomorrow for all I care.” Dr Morgan had learned quickly how to deal with Blake, and it had always worked well.

“Fine. I’ll finish up here and I’ll be right over.” Blake agreed finally, with a sigh he hung up and went back to Adam who seemed to be in the exact same position as before. “I need to go Adam.” Blake pressed a kiss to his forehead first though. “Can you tell Carson I won’t be in till late today?”

“Sure, but he’ll be mad.” Adam warned him.

“I know. Can’t not do this I’m afraid.” And if only Adam had seen the truth in those words. He was afraid. More afraid then he’s ever been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would love to hear your thoughts on this thing :) Still not entirely sure where it's going.... But I've written a couple of chapters ahead and I just hope it makes sense XD Anyway, enjoy!


	3. Chapter 3

“So you’re telling me that Blake isn’t coming?” 

“I’m telling you, he told me he’d be late.” Adam repeated.

“For fuck sake. And he couldn’t find the time to tell me himself?” Carson fumed.

“Well, he left pretty quick this morning. Man was in a hurry. Didn’t even stop for breakfast.” Adam shrugged and fell into his chair. Truth is, he’s worried about Blake and has been for a while, but this morning he could have sworn Blake was talking to a doctor and he didn’t mean to listen but certain words carried. And he heard the word doctor. 

“Fine. When he decides to turn up, get him to come see me.” Carson span on his heel and walked out, his footsteps echoing the whole way.

 

 

“You should go and rest Blake.” Dr Morgan advised.

“Doc, I really appreciate that, but I need to work.” Morgan didn’t think too highly of Blake’s never tell anyone plan.

“They should know Blake.”

“I don’t want them to know. There isn’t even that much to tell.” Blake sighed, and Dr Morgan just turned away, this was a fight he loses every time but he still tries because he knows eventually Blake is going to regret this.

“I found some new pills that might just work. But be careful Blake, these ones can make you drowsy and with the things you’re already taking I want you to only take one after all your work is done. Same time every night. And only one. Got that?”

“Sure have.” Blake started coughing so hard he thought he would throw up, before remembering there is nothing to throw up. Which then reminded him how much his throat burns, it feels like he swallowed razorblades. 

“Have a glass of water before you go.” Morgan suggested and Blake gulped it down hungrily.

“Thanks Doc.”

“Don’t forget our appointment next week.” He called out after Blake, who repeated in his head how he had to tell Carson before the day this time. He shoved the tablets in his pocket before scribbling down the instructions just in case he does forget and then he raced to the studio.

 

 

“Carson wants to see you.” Adam said without even looking up. “I know what you sound like.” And now he’s answering unspoken questions, Blake smiled and walked closer. He   
kissed him quickly as a hello, enjoying the happy smile it put on Adam’s face before going to meet his doom.

“Where the hell were you?” The anger in Carson’s voice scared Blake a little, the man can be pretty intimidating if he puts his mind to it.

“My lawyer called. I had to clear something up.” Blake felt so guilty, because instantly Carson sighed and caved. Most likely thinking it was about Miranda and the divorce he has taken so terribly, when in reality it is nothing of the kind. Although, if they knew the truth they’d most likely be more forgiving and caring and damn it Blake can’t help but doubt his decision when it comes to moments like this.

“Don’t let it happen again.” Carson warned but his eyes were soft and forgiving. “I heard you and Adam got a little cosy.” Blake blushed and laughed to try and cover it up.

“Oh, the little asshole kept it quiet that long?” 

“He didn’t need to say anything. You two were all over each other when I left, I’m glad you’re finally acting on it. Been long enough.” With a lingering hand on Blake’s shoulder Carson left, shooting him another fond and happy smile.

“Did you call me an asshole?” Adam popped out of nowhere, scaring the shit out of Blake who nearly fell over.

“Were you eavesdropping?”

“No eaves here Mister.” Adam smiled all sweet and innocent, which is when Blake knew it was a lie.

“Sure. If you say so Rock Star.” And before the smart ass comment could leave Adam’s mouth Blake tugged him over and kissed him. “If you want to know something, just ask. I don’t want to lie to you Adam.” Blake’s voice was all southern drawl in Adam’s ear, and damn if that wasn’t sexy Adam wasn’t quite sure what was.

“I was just waiting for you Blake.” Adam pressed a kiss to Blake’s cheek, a smile etched on his face as he did it. “Believe it or not, I missed you.” As if those words were too much Adam all but fell into Blake’s arms, who, to his credit, managed to keep Adam from falling to the floor.

“I missed you too.” Blake smiled, glad to know he wasn’t the only one who was falling fast. Maybe because the two have been pining over each other for a while now. Adam took a second to look at Blake, to really look because after that conversation he is fairly sure he heard this morning he has decided to really pay attention.

“You aren’t looking all that great Blake.” Adam commented, his face was strangely pale.

“I’m fine.” Just as he said that he started coughing and couldn’t help but curse his body’s timing. “Nothing.” Blake waved it away. 

“If you’re sure.” The uncertainty was clear in his voice, Adam vowed to keep a close eye on Blake who just happened to vow to do his best to not let Adam find out. Although, that may well hurt him more than the truth. It’s a hard decision, but Blake has made a selfish one. Give them both some happiness right now and then he can shatter it later.

“Come on, we should get out there. Don’t wanna give Carson more reason to blow a fuse.” Blake chuckled, back to fake smiles and forced happiness. 

“Good point. I’m still recovering from that time I was late.” Adam shuddered at the very memory, Carson’s voice had echoed round the whole studio that day, he was definitely not a happy bunny and poor Adam made the mistake of waltzing in late. Not one of the coaches who were there that day dared show up late again, unless of course they weren’t needed or had a decent reason or legitimately thought they could get away with it.

“Yeah, I never want a repeat of that.” Blake responded whilst trying to hide his smile.

“I can sense the smile in there Big Country and I am deeply offended.” Adam’s attempt to make Blake smile for real worked as a grin spread across his face.

“What can I say, memories of you and shouting are fond ones.” The cheeky grin accompanied by a wink and the tone of his voice suggested he wasn’t just talking about that one time, in fact Adam is fairly certain it was about last night and he blushed. Adam Levine blushed. Making Blake all the more self-righteous as he sauntered off, leaving Adam staring after him still trying to recover.

“I didn’t shout that much.” Adam muttered, more to himself than anything in an effort to save some of his manly pride. Yep. That was pretty much gone. At least it was only Blake. If Christina had been around he’s sure there would be no end to the teasing.

Blake on the other hand was stressing out more so than ever when another coughing fit racked his body. No way was he hiding this, and if the coughing didn’t go away he knows they’ll just worry. And more importantly he knows Adam will worry, he loves Adam a lot, more than he cares to admit, and to think he will be putting him through that much pain and worry in the near future fills him with so much guilt it’s nearly unbearable. Nearly.


	4. Chapter 4

Blake had zoned out somewhere along the way, all he knows is all the other coaches are laughing at something Carson said and he’s just staring because he let Adam talk him into another night out. So here they are, same place as yesterday. Although this time he’s staying strong about the alcohol, he does not want to go through that again. 

“Are you even listening?” Adam whispered into his ear and for a moment Blake thought about lying.

“No.” He sighed. “Look guys, I’m dead tired. I’ll see ya’ll tomorrow.” He waved his good bye and left pretty quickly, making it to the truck before stopping to cough his lungs up again. When he turned on the radio no other than Maroon 5 was on, This Love, and a fond smile was on his face before he could even think about it. Before he could think too much about all his bad decisions he started the drive back to his LA home. 

 

 

So Blake missed Adam. A lot. Which is why he currently has Maroon 5 blaring out of the stereo speakers as he lounges on the sofa staring up at the ceiling in despair.

“Pills.” He reminds himself, heading to the kitchen to take them quickly along with all the other shit he’s been given. Then stumbled over to the sofa and threw himself back down. Now he can lay there and feel bad for the rest of the night, wallowing in the sucky hand he’s been dealt because Blake is convinced he did some awful shit in a past life to deserve this. It’s times like these that he regrets pushing everyone away, he misses when Miranda used to just know something was wrong, he misses the nights him and Adam would spend together and now he misses the new relationship him and Adam have started. As a tear trickled ever so slowly down his cheek he missed having someone there who cares,   
who could honestly help him pull through all this. 

“Blake?” The pills must make him hallucinate, because he could swear he heard Adam over the music. Suddenly the music was a lot quieter. “Damn, you missed me that much Cowboy?” Adam chuckled. When Blake opened his eyes Adam was there with a cocky smirk.

“Adam?” Adam walked closer and wiped the tears from Blake’s face.

“I’m not going to ask. Because I know something’s going on Blake, I know it, I can feel it. But, I can wait till you are ready.” And a massive weight was lifted from Blake’s shoulders at those words.

“I love you Adam.” And despite the fact it may be a little early, he really meant it.

“I love you too.” The kiss afterwards definitely showed it, but those damn tablets were kicking in and Blake could barely stay awake. 

“Sleep here with me?” Blake slurred.

“Sure.” And he tugged Adam down onto his chest, the two shifting a little to get comfortable and within minutes Blake was out like a light with the reassuring feeling of safety and love. 

 

 

“I need clothes.” Adam pointed out.

“Wardrobe has clothes.”

“Yeah, but I like my clothes.” Adam pouted.

“Well, I don’t have any of your clothes.” Blake rolled his eyes at Adam who was still stood there arms crossed over his bare chest. He was refusing to get dressed unless it was in some of his own clean clothes.

“If you weren’t sleeping like the dead then you would have been able to solve the issue.” Which is shit and they both know it, Adam had been looking for a way to get that into a conversation for too long because Blake never slept like that.

“I sleep like that when I’m fucking tired. Which is what happens when your friend drags you out every night and you have work.”

“Oh, just a friend?” The tone was teasing, but Adam was more than serious.

“Adam, you know you’re more than a friend damn it.” Blake ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “Lover sound better to you.”

“Personally I love the sound of boyfriend.” Blake stayed silent for a moment.

“Fine, my dumbass boyfriend decided to drag me out. Sound better?”

“You have another boyfriend? Because I know for a fact I ain’t no dumbass.” Blake just sighed, knowing full well that there is no winning against Adam this early in the morning. 

“Feel free to borrow a shirt for the trip, but I am going straight to the studio.” Another coughing fit silenced the both of them, Adam too busy worrying about what’s eating away at Blake and why he hasn’t told anyone he’s ill to remember what he was saying. He grabbed one of the shirts that looked smallest and it was a surprisingly decent fit. “See, you look cute.” Then Blake pressed a quick kiss to Adam’s lips. “No, not cute. Adorable.”

“I hate you so much.” Adam mumbled as he followed Blake out the door. 

“Not what you said a few minutes ago.” Blake sniggered which triggered yet another coughing fit, and it just seems this is getting worse by the day.

“Want a drink?” Adam asked, and he meant it and Blake really appreciated it.

“Nah, I’m good thanks though.” He gave Adam a smile that had him forgetting everything they were talking about.

“We didn’t even get to have sex.” Adam pouted as he took a seat in Blake’s truck and at Blake’s confused look he hurried to explain. “I may or may not have come to your place hoping for a re-run of last night but you were pretty much out for the count from the get go. And then this morning it’s been a bit of a rush without any moment of sitting around.”

“God, I’m not even surprised.” Blake shook his head with a fond smile. “Well, unless you’re dragging me to the bar tonight I think I should be free after filming.” 

“Now I’ll be thinking about that the whole day. How am I supposed to focus? I have enough trouble just with you sitting down there.” Adam moaned.

“No easier for me City Boy.” Blake chuckled.

“Hey Blake?” The soft sound of Adam’s voice after a few moments of silence made it was obvious he was treading carefully.

“Yeah.”

“You would tell me if, if something was wrong, right?” Adam asked and Blake swears that his heart stopped for a second there. 

“Wrong like what?”

“Just wrong.” Adam shrugged, eyes locked on Blake who was desperately looking for some kind of loophole.

“Sure. I’m sure I would.” Blake answered, for some reason the answer didn’t satisfy Adam the way he thought it would maybe because he is pretty certain Blake is hiding something. “Why you askin’?”

“I don’t know.” Adam lied and an awkward silence fell upon the two.

“Adam, if I ever kept anything from you it would be for the best reason I could think of.” Blake said finally, desperate to cover himself for the future. “I’d never want to hurt you, ever. If I kept something from you, you gotta believe me it’s because I thought it would be best.”

“I believe you Blake.” Adam sighed, finding it impossible to stay mad at Blake. “I’ll let you make it up to me after filming.”

“Oh, I’ll make it up to you alright.” Blake smiled, and Adam just sat there and pouted even more.

“I’m gunna stop talking to you right about now, because you are making things worse.”

“You love it really.” Blake shrugged. “I love you Adam.”

“I love you too Blake, stop being weird and just drive.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates are going to be a bit random, A-Levels are coming up so there's a lot of revision and stuff to get in and sadly fanfic is taking the backburner. :( Hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

Blake spent most of the time on set coughing his guts up, he tried to shrug it off but he could feel Adam’s eyes staring into his soul from across the room. Not only that, but it was worse than it had been before and he was starting to worry a little himself.

“Blake, if you aren’t well just go home.” Carson sighed after Blake had finally recovered from another coughing fit.

“I’m fine Carson.” He waved him away, even trying to smile although it was closer to a grimace in reality.

“If you insist.” But it was obvious he wasn’t happy, or convinced by Blake’s claim at all. None of the coaches were. Adam came up to him during the break and handed him a warm drink.

“Always makes me feel better when I’m not great.” Adam smiled. “Great for a sore throat too.”

“Thanks Adam.” This smile was a lot more believable, and the drink really did help. Warm and soothing and it didn’t taste like shit like the murky green colour would suggest. 

“You know Blake, you don’t need to pretend to be okay in front of us. We won’t judge you Cowboy.” He kinda wished that everyone would be horrible about it, would judge him because then this reaction wouldn’t be so dumb and irrational. 

“I know Adam. I do. Okay. But seriously, I want to work.” The ‘I need to work’ wasn’t said but Adam heard it anyway. Eventually they left Blake alone and stopped bothering him about all of it. 

 

 

Adam had just got in the door, Blake’s truck was out front so he knew he was inside, but he wasn’t expecting to be pressed against the wall as soon as the door fell shut. Blake was putting his all into the kiss, him and Adam were so close not an inch of their bodies weren’t touching. 

“I don’t wanna catch your illness dude.” Adam moaned, the hardness in his jeans proving otherwise as he bucked his hips up into Blake.

“It’s not catching.” And if Adam hadn’t been so caught up in the feeling of Blake and just how close he was and how good it felt then he probably would have questioned how Blake knew that. But he didn’t. Instead he smiled and brought Blake back in for a kiss, Blake started leading them to the bedroom as Adam wrapped himself around Blake. “I love you so much.” Blake panted as he dropped Adam onto the bed, hands moving to attack the buttons on his own shirt that Adam had insisted on wearing on set.

“I love you too Blake.” Adam’s hands slipped under Blake’s shirt, making him gasp at the unexpected contact. The clothing wasn’t removed nearly quick enough for Blake, and as soon as they were both naked he was pushing Adam back and kissing him again. From his height advantage Blake led the kiss, Adam decided to put those hands to use, running them through Blake’s hair and tugging in just the right places to make Blake moan. “Jesus Blake, I need you already.” Adam moaned, letting his hands roam over Blake’s body. Blake smiled into the kiss and before Adam had time to think he had two fingers inside him, and Adam’s mind went completely blank. He was a moaning, bucking mess and Blake thanked god he was just as vocal in bed as he was any other time, because damn, that turned him on.

“God Adam. You are so amazing.” Blake whispered into his ear as he added another finger, letting his teeth graze the sensitive skin on Adam’s neck. 

“Blake. Please. God, stop teasing already.” Adam pleaded, and Blake just couldn’t say no to the man. He pushed in slowly, Adam making noises that went straight to his dick, and as he sped up the noises both men made were lost, neither one knowing what was them and what was the other. “Oh shit, Blake.” Adam gasped, the two came together with Blake collapsing beside Adam when they were done.

“Jesus Adam. That was something else.” Blake smiled, his fingers tracing the tattoos closest to him. 

“It was definitely something.” Adam agreed with a similar smile on his face. “We should really get cleaned up.” He pointed out although neither of them made any effort to clean up or move in anyway, other than the hand that was currently tracing Adam’s tattoos. 

“You’re tattoos are almost as gorgeous as you.” Blake commented, he saw the blush spread across Adam’s cheeks and couldn’t help but smile at the adorable man he had somehow ended up with. 

“Shut up Blake. They are just tattoos.” 

“Come on, you are always so proud of your tattoos. Don’t get all quiet on me now.” Blake chuckled.

“Fine. What do you expect me to say to a comment like that then?”

“I don’t know because I don’t have to.” Blake shrugged, earning a slap (a rather pathetic one at that) from Adam. 

“I do love my tattoos, but I don’t usually have after-sex conversations about them.” Adam sighed. “And even if I did, there isn’t much anyone could say at any time in response to your comment.”

“Always a critic.” Another fit of coughing took Blake by surprise, his body shooting upright as he coughed, he stumbled to the bathroom and caught Adam’s worried gaze in the mirror. He looked away quickly and eventually was able to breathe normally again. The thing that really got to him was the blood on his hand. He’d coughed up blood, and that was new and more worrying. In fact, that was a lot closer to fucking terrifying.

“You alright in there Blakey?”

“Fine Adam. Just grabbing a towel to clean up with since I’m up.” He cringed at his own lie, wishing that he had the guts to tell Adam the truth about this. But it hurts to think about, about how Adam would react and whether he’d stick with Blake or push him away. And in reality whichever one he chooses would be just as heart-breaking. He was back in the room with a damp cloth seconds later and was somehow able to avoid eye contact for the whole time.

“You want dinner or something?” Adam asked, realising that they hadn’t eaten yet. 

“I’m not fussed. How about take-out?”

“Pizza sounds great right about now. Plus there’s a game on.” Adam was up and pulling on clothes in seconds.

“Alright then, you go get that set up and I’ll call for pizza.” Adam bounded off, not even questioning Blake’s strange behaviour. Blake sat on the edge of the bed for a moment or two with his head in his hands debating whether he should call Dr Morgan or not, eventually deciding not to. After all, he’s got an appointment in 5 days and if it gets worse he can call. Yep. Sounds good. Now, he has a hungry boyfriend to order pizza for and to keep company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Finally an update :) Hope it isn't too awful, I'm cringing a little right now but it's there now XD


	6. Chapter 6

Okay, the week flew by just a little too quickly. So maybe Blake forgot to tell Carson about the appointment with Dr Morgan. But he didn’t have time to worry about that right now being sat in the Doctor’s room. And he isn’t all that pleased that Blake didn’t tell him about the blood.

“Blake, why didn’t you call? Coughing up blood isn’t a good sign.”

“None of this is good. All you can do is throw more tablets my way.” Blake sighed, irritated at the lack of change.

“Blake, you are my number one priority and I promise I’m doing all I can.”

“I know Doc, I just don’t think there’s anything you can do. We’ve tried it all.” This type of negativity was unusual for Blake, the normally optimistic man seeming to have given up.

“No. I will not have that kind of negative talk Blake. There have been improvements, small victories but victories all the same.” Dr Morgan spoke sternly, seeing Blake so defeated by this was not good. A negative outlook usually improves the chances of a negative outcome, and there is no way anyone wants to lose Blake.

“I’m sorry. Damn it, it’s just so hard.”

“Blake. You need to tell someone. You have to, because if things keep getting worse then we may have to hospitalise you. Not only that, but having someone to talk to will really help.” Dr Morgan informed him, Blake’s heart shattered in that moment.

“I. I’ll think about it.” And with that Blake up and left, leaving Dr Morgan doubting anything will change because he’s learnt that Blake is one stubborn ass in the time he’s been seeing him. The story itself has been kept quiet, but with Blake’s increasingly frequent visits it’s bound to get out sometime. 

 

 

“BLAKE. Where the hell were you this time? And don’t say lawyer. I called your manager and he was at a loss concerning your whereabouts. And Adam was here already. So what’s your sorry excuse this time?” Carson snapped angrily and in that moment Blake knew Carson needed to know. If what Dr Morgan was saying was true, and Blake has no reason to   
doubt him, then he’ll be visiting frequently and Carson is going to want to know why.

“I need to talk to you, in private.” Blake sighed after seeing a lot of people loitering and knowing that wherever Adam was he’d be moving closer to hear better, this really isn’t something he wants everyone knowing. Or more specifically, Adam knowing just yet. Carson stormed off in the direction of what he uses as an office with Blake following after him.

“This better be worth it Blake.”

“I’m not well.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“It’s, it’s serious Carson.” Carson’s face fell at the news. “Damn, I didn’t want to tell y’all, it being unavoidable and all. I thought, one last season and we’ll make it a good one and you guys treat me the same. But, it’s not turning out that way I suppose.”

“What is it?” Carson’s voice was unusually quiet as he managed to ask the question, his heart was breaking for the man who had become a close friend of his.

“Wouldn’t I like to know?” Blake chuckled dryly, his eyes filled with unshed tears. “They don’t know. Everything and nothing apparently. It started as an infection, then another infection and then they say I have some sort of tumour. Nothing is going well for me Carson. Things aren’t improving even with all the drugs they force down my throat. I have a year. Roughly. It’s all guess work right now.”

“Jesus Blake.” Carson looked just as upset as Blake. “You need to tell Adam. He has to know.”

“I won’t hurt him like that. No. It would break him Carson. I need him to enjoy this time with me.”

“Blake, come on. You will beat this, but only with the support of your friends.”

“Carson please.” At the wide-eyed begging of his friend Carson gave in. 

“Fine. But Blake, you need to tell him eventually. A month. Then you have to.”

“Deal.” Blake agreed, it seemed better than any of the alternatives really and he can’t believe that he hadn’t thought of it himself.

“If you need a break-”

“Carson, I want us to pretend nothing has changed. If, if I can’t beat this, then I want this year to be as perfect as all the others have been.” He nodded in reply which is enough for Blake.

“If you need someone to talk to, I’m here.” Was all Carson said before walking off, and Blake really appreciated it. He found Adam waiting in his dressing room.

“You get lost?” He teased.

“How did you bribe Carson? I need to know. What was the price?” The lack of screaming had set off alarm bells for Adam, Blake hadn’t told him he’d be late this time and for some reason Carson lets him off with it. Adam’s curiosity is piqued. 

“Damn Adam. It was nothing.” Blake chuckled. “We had a discussion in his office is all.”

“If you say so. But I am suspicious. Know that.”

“You are always suspicious of something.” Before Adam could come up with some smart ass reply Blake pressed his lips against his and all brain function halted.

“That was mean.” He pouted when Blake pulled away.

“Not allowed to kiss my boyfriend? Seems unfair.” Blake loved saying it as much as Adam loved hearing it. ‘Boyfriend.’ It seemed to roll of the Okie’s tongue in such an elegant and natural way that Adam was fighting back a smile and the urge to kiss Blake. 

“Not allowed to use kisses to distract me.” Adam corrected when he remembered how to form words.

“I wasn’t doing that. I mean, those lips are irresistible Adam. So really, it isn’t even my fault.”

“Oh, so it’s my fault you’re compulsive.” Adam rolled his eyes playfully as he fell into his boyfriend’s lap. 

“Exactly. See now you’re getting the hang of this.” This time it was Adam who started the kiss, spinning round for a better angle. At some point someone opened the door only to close it and back away, causing Blake to laugh into the kiss but by no means did their little make-out session come to an end. Not until Carson broke it up. Quite literally.

“Alright love birds, break it up. We have a show to film.” He ordered, reaching over and grabbing Adam so he could physically move him because he knew that otherwise the pair would just ignore him.

“Bye Blake.” Adam laughed as he was dragged away, Blake’s reply was lost on him but the booming laughter echoed around the corridor.

“I’m gunna miss that.” Carson muttered under his breath, thankfully Adam didn’t hear him or if he did he didn’t put the pieces together. Blake was thinking similar things in his dressing room; how he’ll miss having Adam when he breaks the news because he is certain that Adam will pull away. In his mind, there is no other option.


	7. Chapter 7

Adam had noticed the strange looks Carson was giving Blake on set and off. It was hard not to, and in the past week since Blake’s weird little encounter with Carson in his office Adam was paying extra attention.

“Want a drink Blake?” Carson offered as he walked by with his own coffee in hand, so he was clearly going in the wrong direction.

“Jeez Carson, I’m fine thanks.” Blake laughed in response, rolling his eyes.

“What about food? You eaten anything?”

“God, who are you? My father? Relax a little. Adam’s not as needy as you.” Which caused Adam to pout on the other side of the room, as Blake smiled fondly and sent him a cheeky wink.

“Just keeping an eye on you.” Carson sighed as he turned to carry on walking, once he had left the room Adam wandered over to join Blake.

“Keeping an eye on you?”

“Apparently.” Blake shrugged before changing the topic entirely. “So I was thinking that maybe tonight me and you go out for a meal, we can say it was just friendly but I wanna take you out on a date Adam.”

“That sounds great Blake.”

“Where to?”

“Happy anywhere.” Adam said simply as he nestled himself in Blake’s side, he didn’t see the fond smile on Blake’s face or the tears welling up in his eyes either. And Blake was happy pretending they didn’t exist, the tears anyway, because whenever him and Adam share a moment like this he can’t help but think that these are the last few weeks of their relationship. “Dude, are you crying?” The concern in Adam’s voice broke him even more, he was so lost in thought he hadn’t even noticed Adam move.

“Me? No. Staring into space. You know when your eyes water.” Blake’s lie came all too easily and Adam ate it up, even if he did doubt him a little he didn’t want to and so thankfully swallowed the lie. 

“Okay babe.” He kissed him quickly. “I gotta get to make-up.”

“Yeah, cover up all that ugly.” Blake teased.

“At least they try with me.” Adam quipped before bouncing off, leaving Blake smiling at the man’s endless energy and general happiness that is just infectious.

“I know that smile.” Pharrell interrupted his thoughts.

“You do?”

“Oh yeah man, you are in love. In deep.” Pharrell announced happily. “I’m happy for you. You two deserve some happiness, glad you’ve finally caught on.”

“Are we that obvious?” Blake laughed.

“To people that know you, yes. The outside world, maybe not.” Pharrell shrugged. “Not that it matters all that much anyway, the truth always comes out Blake. Whether we want it to or not.” The forever wise and philosophical Pharrell’s last words echoed within Blake’s mind. Because it may just be him, but that sounded pretty similar to something else that’s troubling him, when he finally looked up to question Pharrell he found that he had gone. 

 

 

Pharrell’s words stayed with him, Blake was jumpy and everyone noticed.

“You know, if you want to stay in tonight I’m fine with that.” Adam mentioned quietly after Blake nearly dropped his drink when he wrapped an arm round his shoulders.

“No. No I definitely want to go out tonight, guess I’m a little out of it right now. Once I get this coffee down me I’ll be awake.” Blake promised, somehow managing to pull out that smile that no one can say no to. 

“Alright man, want me to make reservations anywhere?”

“Nope. I got that sorted already.” Blake smiled proudly, because for once he had planned ahead a little and got them a private table at some Chinese Adam had been raving on about for a while. Hopefully Adam will appreciate the gesture, Blake is desperate for at least one memorable and successful date.

“I’m impressed Cowboy. Thought we’d just rock up there in jeans and demand alcohol.” 

“I have a little class.” Blake shrugged, a smile tugging at his mouth.

“Debatable.” Adam laughed, managing to punch Blake before running back to his chair. Blake chased him out there, much to the amusement of the crowd and the other coaches. What Adam wasn’t expecting was Blake to dive in and start tickling him, pressing a kiss to his cheek that although seemed like their bromance to the audience it was definitely meant more to the two of them.

“I definitely have class.” Blake decided as he headed back to his chair.

“In your dreams.” Adam muttered, the microphones picking it up causing him to groan in annoyance. “I refuse to wear these things with that oaf around, I mean, how am I supposed to complain about him if there is no escape.” Adam joked.

“Yeah, well, try putting up with an egotistical asshole.”

“Is that like the biggest word you know Blake? Get that from your ‘new-word-a-day’ calendar?”

“Yours actually.” The quick reply had every one floored for a second before they all started laughing.

“I’m impressed. For that, you win.” Adam smiled, eyes meeting Blake’s for a brief second. 

“I always win Adam.” Blake laughed, his eyes lingering on Adam after he turned away. The only thing that took his attention from him was the music that started, and that’s only because otherwise Carson would get snappy with him. That doesn’t mean that the two didn’t stop looking at each other throughout the show, their eyes drifting to the other more times than anyone could count, the look of love clear on their faces. If anyone asked it would be the music itself that had them feeling that way, not seeing the person at the other end of the row.   
Blake personally loved watching Adam, his head bopping up and down to the music, he could imagine his hand slapping against his leg to the beat and the man would likely be humming along to the song too. Every now and then Adam would look his way, their eyes either meeting or finding Blake lost in the music too.

It’s times like this when Adam forgets that he’s worried about Blake, when he sees that pleased smile or sometimes an all-out beaming smile complete with dimples. When there’s music involved Blake is a smiling idiot, no matter how the performance goes Blake is always engaged, never not getting immersed in the performance. Whenever he looks over at Adam it make his heart jump, and he loves that feeling; seeing Blake’s loved up eyes and that pleased smile. He loves Blake’s whole attitude, he is never completely dismissive and always tries to offer praise and advice. As far as Adam is concerned he’s the best coach here, and the results prove it.

But, for all his talk Blake strongly believes Adam is the best coach there is. He always has an uncanny ability to relate with the artists, finding a personal connection that just makes it all flow easily. The talented musician finally got to show just how amazing he was, and Blake couldn’t be happier for him, he isn’t the asshole people thought he was. Instead he turned out to be an incredibly charming, friendly guy who has a genuine passion for music and undiscovered talent. Blake loves watching his team flourish, but he also loves seeing Adam’s team do well and the happiness it causes the rock star. Because in the end that’s all he wants; for Adam to be happy. In an ideal world he’d be the one to do that, but it seems that it’s unlikely given his declining health and all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys are enjoying this! And that it's not too emotionally scarring XD


	8. Chapter 8

“You got us a table here?” Adam asked, looking a little surprised.

“I remember you mentioning it a while back, you happy with here?” 

“Is the sky blue?”

“Right now it’s actually closer to black.” Blake pointed out with a smart ass smile.

“Oh shut up doofus, now let’s get in there and eat. I’m starved.” With a laugh they walked in together, Blake heading straight to the waitress.

“I got a table booked, Shelton.” She smiled and nodded and led them to a table in the back, nicely tucked away in the corner. 

“You did good Shelton.” Adam plopped himself down in the comfiest looking chair.

“Yeah, well, thought I best try and do something right.”

“You do a lot of things right.” Adam tried his best not to roll his eyes.

“Anyway, just choose some food already.” Blake ordered whilst shoving a menu in his hands.

“You got somewhere to be?” Adam asked with a raised eyebrow that was just visible over the menu.

“Yeah, me and you got an appointment in my bedroom.” And wow, Blake had never been that upfront before and Adam was a little aroused by that.

“Why didn’t you say so?” Adam exclaimed, waving a waiter over. “Two Chicken Sweet and Sours.” 

“Two beers, whatever you’ve got is good enough for me.” Blake added, seeming impressed with Adam’s choice of meal.

“I know you so well!” Adam sang teasingly.

“Shut up Adam, I’m not exactly a puzzle.” Blake chuckled, but he’ll admit that it was pretty adorable how well they knew each other. 

“I beg to differ. But fine. Take away from my victory Blake.” Adam faked hurt, clutching at his chest.

“Stop being such a drama queen.” 

“I am not a drama queen.”

“I beg to differ.” Blake teased, trying to mimic Adam which earned him a slap from across the table. “Ouch. That one seriously hurt.”

“Good. It was meant to.” Adam’s voice lacked any of the humour that had been present and Blake instantly felt bad for making fun of Adam’s voice. 

“Adam, come on, you know I was only joking. I’m sorry buddy, I just, I went too far that time.” If there was one thing that Adam was super self-conscious about it was his voice, the one some people deemed too high for a man. Blake hates thinking about the shit Adam went through in high-school and even now, the things some of the people say would hurt anyone.

“Forget it Blake.”

“No. Not until you forgive me and can give me smile.” Blake decided, Adam sat there in silence pretending to find the desert menu interesting. As Blake began to get more desperate with minutes ticking by he made a decision for the two of them, crossing the table and pressing his lips to Adam’s. Mission achieved as felt Adam smile into the kiss.

“I hate you.” Adam sighed as Blake went back to his seat. “I thought you wanted this to be quiet.”

“I do. But, damn Adam, seeing you sad and hurt is worse than anything. I’d do anything to see ya smile.” Blake shrugged, the words made Adam’s heart soar.

“I love you Blake. I really do.” The beaming smile nearly blinded Blake, the pure happiness that Adam was exuding had Blake smiling away too.

“I love you Adam. More than I’ve loved before.”

“I’m getting lost in your dimples.” Adam chuckled, before giving Blake a sharp kick in the shins.

“Dude!”

“It was getting to sappy.” Adam shrugged, a smug smile on his face which suggested that the kick was more payback from Blake’s earlier joke.

“Yeah, whatever City Boy.” Before their banter could continue their meals were served to them, and there was a silence as they started eating. “This is good.” 

“Told you.” Adam smiled before stuffing another forkful of food in his mouth.

“Oh, is that what you were telling me about this place? I couldn’t quite remember the details.” Blake blushed a little, thinking that maybe Adam had been here before and that’s what he had   
been talking about.

“I told you that James had really rated this place. And I agree, this is delicious. Can we take it home? Can we hire the chef? We could take him to The Voice!” Adam rambled as Blake just laughed at him.

“You are adorable.” Blake shook his head fondly at the man who was now pouting in protest. “Adorable in a very sexy and manly way.” He amended, causing a small smile to appear on   
Adam’s face although his eyes were shining with happiness so Blake counted that as a win. The beers had long gone and as Blake shouldn’t be drinking at all he let Adam have another and offered to drive them back. 

“Can we crash at mine tonight?” Adam asked and Blake couldn’t deny him that, the man was looking sexier than ever for some unknown reason. Maybe it was the lighting or maybe Blake was finally admitting just how much he loved the man.

“Don’t see why not.” Blake had placed an emergency stash of tablets in his truck for moments just like this, Dr Morgan would be impressed.

“Awesome, you got clothes?”

“Nah, but unlike you Princess I don’t mind taking things from wardrobe.” Adam only rolled his eyes at Blake, decided it’s best to just ignore his endless teasing. “I’ll pay tonight Adam, you go wait in the truck.” Blake offered, handing over the keys as he went to get money from his wallet.

“I can’t let you pay.” Adam complained, reaching to get his own wallet out.

“It’s all part of the southern charm, don’t deny me this. You can pay next time if it makes you feel better.” Blake countered, knowing Adam wouldn’t say no. He instead narrowed his eyes and went out to the truck, both of them knew that Blake wouldn’t be letting Adam pay any time soon and that Adam wasn’t just going to sit back and let Blake pay for everything.

 

 

“You coming Blake?” Adam asked when he noticed Blake loitering downstairs.

“Just grabbing a drink darlin’, I’ll be up in a minute.” Blake called up to him, a small smile on Adam’s face at the endearment that seems to be becoming a habit. The way it rolled off Blake’s tongue in that southern drawl had Adam smiling every time.

“Alright. Don’t take too long. I might get bored and take matters into my own hands.” He just about heard a choking noise downstairs before the clattering as Blake hurried around the kitchen. I didn’t take Blake long to get up the stairs and fall through the bedroom door, where he found Adam laying naked on the bed.

“Holy shit.” He gasped, growing impossibly harder in his jeans. Never has clothing been removed so quickly, ending up on the other side of the room in a heaped mess. And the two lovers ending up in a mess of tangled limbs before drifting off to sleep still wrapped up in each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for you lovely lot :) I'd love to hear what you think of it, reading your comments makes it all worthwhile :D


	9. Chapter 9

The month of bliss flew by so much quicker than Blake expected it to. There were more dates that they managed to say were friendly get together’s, any kisses were not photographed or reported by some unbelievable stroke of luck. The two grew so much closer in that time, barely spending a night apart. Blake grew sneakier in hiding his tablets, not that Adam questioned him anymore because as far as he was concerned the good times made the stranger Blake times alright and he knew that eventually Blake would tell him.

Blake’s illness was manageable, the coughing came and went as did nausea. He still wasn’t eating all that much or drinking alcohol at all, but the other coaches got used to it and Carson was always there with food to force down his throat if they got worried. Despite the seemingly improved state of health, according to the medical professionals nothing had changed, not dramatically anyway. Which means Blake needs to tell Adam. 

“You done it yet?” Carson asks, looking over to where Adam was talking animatedly with Christina.

“No. Not yet.”

“I want it done after the show. And I want it done here Blake.” Because Carson wanted to keep an eye on them, if this blows up in their faces there will be two friends who need comforting. He’d already asked Pharrell if he could stick around a little later than usual, the man was quick to agree to help out even though he didn’t know what was going on.

“You got it Car.” Blake sighed, wandering slowly to his chair. He was trying to savour every second of Adam’s love, and trying to avoid the inevitable like the plague. Adam needed to know. He knows he has to tell him, but the thought still scares him.

“Hey Big Country.” Adam threw an arm over Blake’s shoulder, the two more than comfortable in each other’s company and definitely alright with the intrusion in their personal space.

“Hey City Boy.” Blake chuckled, getting a little lost in Adam’s eyes. People rave on and on about blue eyes, but as someone with blue eyes he appreciates Adam’s hazel hues. Those little orbs reminding him of chocolate and caramel, those golden streams shining bright when caught in the right light or the darker shades of brown that border on black. Blake loves them, everything about them, every single shade.

“You alright there?”

“Oh, yeah.” Blake gave him a reassuring smile, a small squeeze with his hand on the hip he’d rested it on.

“Okay.” It was Adam’s turn to stare at Blake now, take in the lines on his lovers face. Blake was stressed, anxious and worried, Adam could read him like a book. He was hiding it well, but Adam saw straight through it. Acting in the moment he pressed a kiss to Blake’s cheek before bouncing off to his seat, he saw the happy smile on his face though as he took his seat and loved the light in Blake’s eyes. The audience loved their bromance now more than ever, with them playing it for all it’s worth, thankful for the excuse to be close to each other. 

 

 

As usual, when Blake wants a moment to last it goes quicker than expected. It seemed as though the day went by in a blink of an eye, soon enough Blake was sat in his trailer freaking out after texting Adam to meet him. When Adam walked in he saw the emotional mess that was his boyfriend and instantly dreaded the conversation, fearing Blake had finally had enough and wanted to end their relationship.

“Adam.” It was a relieved sigh, a loving whisper and before Adam could reply Blake had him close for a kiss. “I. I need to tell you something. Before I do, know that I love you. So much. And what I did was mostly selfish, but I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“I know you love me Blake. I love you too.” Adam was scared, his heart racing as he stared at Blake anxious for the news.

“I know. Damn it. That’s what makes this so hard.” Blake took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment before focusing on Adam. “I’m not well Adam. I mean, it’s serious.”

“What do you mean Blake?” His voice was unbelievably quiet, so fragile sounding.

“They are giving me a year, maybe more. Maybe less.” A tear fell down Blake’s face at the way Adam froze, his whole body stilling which in itself is a rarity. “They don’t know for sure what it is. There’s a tumour and I’ll be having surgery during the break. But. Well, they can’t be sure about anything.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want to hurt you. I was just going to finish the season. And then we got drunk and had sex and I still couldn’t tell you. I was selfish, I wanted to love you so I did. I refused to tell you because you need to leave, you need to find someone better who you can spend your life with. I totally get it. Sorry.”

“No. I’m not leaving you.” Blake looked at Adam in surprise, seeing the younger man crying hurt him more than a punch in the face. “Blake, a year with you is worth it’s weight in gold. I’d rather have that than nothing. And you are going to get better, gunna beat this and I can spend my life with you.” 

“Adam, I can’t do this to you. I’m hurting you already, can you imagine how much it’ll hurt if we carry this on.”

“I can. Because that’s how it would feel if I spent any time away from you. Damn it Blake, you can try your hardest to get rid of me, but I’m stuck to you like glue.” Blake didn’t have any arguments left in him, not anymore. Instead he collapsed into Adam’s arms and cried like a baby with Adam rubbing his back and whispering reassuring words in his ear. “When did the rain become a storm?  
When did the clouds begin to form?  
Yeah, we got knocked off course by a natural force  
And we'll, we'll be swimming when it's gone” Adam sang softly. “You know what that means Blake?”

“No.” The sniffled reply came from the man who was still clinging onto Adam.

“It means that things go wrong sometimes and it’s difficult and it may not go the way we want. But it will work out better, we’ll come out better.”

“You think so?”

“I know so you big idiot. You are a fighter, and the most stubborn ass I know. You can beat this, I know it.” Adam forced Blake’s head up, seeing his eyes red and puffy, tear tracks down his face. He kissed the tears from his face before moving to his lips, the kiss slow and passionate. “And I’ll be here with you every step of the way.”

“I’m so lucky. I really am.” Blake smiled, the tears making it seem sadder than it should have. “Sing the song for me?”

“You sure?”

“I love your singing Adam, nothing I want more than to hear you sing right now.” The two moved so that Adam was settled in Blake’s lap before he started singing ‘Beautiful Goodbye’. The words seemed too realistic for both of them, both denying just how true the words could be and instead revelling in the lyrics and the escape that music had always provided them. And Blake looked at Adam as he sang softly and knew that he had never judged someone worse than he had Adam. How he thought Adam could possibly leave he doesn’t know, because they love each other more than anything and there’s no way Blake would leave him because of that. But in that moment he was so thankful for him, to have that rock to keep him grounded, a friend he can tell anything and a lover that can kiss away his problems for a while at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am loving reading your comments, so keep 'em coming!  
> Adam found out :) What did you think of his reaction?  
> Thanks for reading guys XD


	10. Chapter 10

Adam didn’t waste any time in booking an appointment for the two of them to go to, or booking an interview with Ellen to finally share the news about their relationship. She was a good friend of his and he knew that the news would be well received there at least and right now that’s what they need.

“Adam, you really don’t have to come with me.” Blake insisted.

“I want to know what’s happening Blake. If you don’t want me there then say instead of making stupid comments.”

“Of course I want you there.” 

“Good. I was wondering, did you want to tell people or keep it quiet?”

“I haven’t even told my family yet.” Blake prepared himself for the oncoming argument, the silence instead grew longer until he glanced over at Adam who was just staring at him.

“Blake, I can’t believe you right now.” He sighed eventually. “It’s okay. I can sort something.” Blake has not regretted telling Adam, he’s been a lifesaver. He’s taken care of as much as possible, he knows when Blake is just putting on a brave face and won’t let him do anything stupid. Dealing with it all has been so much easier in the week that Adam’s known.

“I love you Adam. I mean it.” 

“I know you do Blake. And I love you too.” And sometimes there will be some incredibly sappy romantic moment because Blake suddenly realises he might not be here forever and Adam never complains, ever, even when it gets annoying. Like two nights ago when Blake shook Adam awake at midnight to tell him that he loves him and appreciates the help.

“Come on, this is the place.” Instead of sneaking in a side-door as he had been doing he walked in proudly whilst clutching Adam’s hand.

“Let the tabloids talk.” Adam shrugged when he first gripped Blake’s hand, and Blake added it to the list of things he’s grateful for. As usual they were quickly called into Dr Morgan’s room.

“Nice to see you again Blake.” The Doc hadn’t yet turned around and when he did he looked happily surprised. “Thank God! You finally told someone, I was beginning to consider leaking it. Nice to meet you, Dr Morgan.” He extended his hand to shake Adam’s.

“Adam Levine. I’m Blake’s boyfriend.”

“It all makes sense now.” Dr Morgan smiled, looking at how close the two were sat together.

“Thing is, I just want to know everything now. I want to be kept in the loop and I want Blake to beat this.” The determination in his voice filled Dr Morgan with happiness, he was sure that this would help give Blake the all-important positive attitude.

“As you should. We are still doing as much as we can to pinpoint the cause of the issues but we have found a tumour in his lung. Whether it’s cancerous or not is unclear, however after discussing it with fellow doctors we think the best route would be surgery. Cancer or not it is best to remove it all together.”

“And in your opinion is it cancerous?”

“It fits with the symptoms. But a benign tumour would explain many of the symptoms as well.” Dr Morgan sighed. “The surgery will go ahead as scheduled and we’ll continue to monitor you following that.”

“And this explains everything?”

“Yeah, there are a few symptoms that don’t fit but everyone reacts differently. It could mean that with his body fight to recover he is just more susceptible to other illnesses and infections.”

“Great thanks Doc.” Blake beamed, already getting to his feet.

“Will stress make this worse?” Adam asked before leaving, looking nervously between the two.

“No. As strange as it sounds life goes on as normal, if it’s cancerous we’ve caught it in time and if it’s not then nothing would change that anyway.”

“Thanks, knowing that your looking after him is a relief.” Adam sighed, with another shake of the Doctors hand.

“Likewise. He’s stubborn, I’m glad there are people around him to make him see sense.” Adam walked out of there with a happy, and slightly smug, smile. Climbing into the truck beside Blake feeling positive, because there is no doubt in anyone but Blake’s mind about his ability to kick this thing to the dirt.

“That wasn’t too bad now was it?”

“No.” Blake chuckled, pulling Adam over the seat for a kiss before they drove off.

“How about we fly out to Oklahoma? We can tell your parents, the rest of your family too.” Adam suggested.

“We could I suppose, but we’ve got a busy schedule.”

“You’re right, it’s cool. They could always visit us.” Adam was more thinking out loud, Blake knew he’d invite them anyway or book tickets over there no matter what he says right now. “You sure you don’t mind people knowing about us Blake? This is your final chance to back out.”

“I’m proud of you Adam. I’m not hiding you away like some dirty little secret, I love you too much for that. I want people to know, I want us to be able to be ourselves out in public. I wanna hold your hand and kiss you, and make sure everyone knows you’re mine and I ain’t sharing.”

“I sure do like the sound of that.” Adam smiled, reaching his hand over to place on Blake’s leg, giving it a comforting squeeze.

“How am I supposed to focus when you are touching my leg damn it?” Blake groaned, Adam only moved his hand higher, eliciting a moan from Blake. “Adam. I will crash this car.”

“You could always just pull over.” And the unspoken words were received by Blake loud and clear, Adam’s voice taking on a slightly lower and incredibly sexy tone. At the first available spot Blake pulled over and Adam was on him in a second, climbing over to straddle Blake’s hips. The kiss was full of lust and desire, Adam grinding himself against Blake whilst both men moaned and groaned at the feeling. “I love you Blake.” Adam panted desperately into Blake’s neck between kisses and light bites, Blake was a mess beneath him and Adam loved it. He managed to slip a hand down Blake’s trousers, pressing his palm against Blake’s hard member through his boxers.

“Damn it Adam.” Blake gasped as he bucked his hips up into Adam’s grasp, desperate for more.

“Touch me Blake.” The words were just a whisper, Adam felt Blake’s cock twitch though and knew the effect it was having on his lover. Blake’s hands began to roam Adam’s body, exploring the skin beneath his shirt. As Blake distracted himself with Adam, Adam managed to get Blake’s dick out and began pumping it, he swallowed every moan that escaped Blake’s mouth in a hungry kiss and soon enough Blake came over his hand shouting his name in pleasure.

“Let me return the favour.” Blake smiled, a distant look in his eye as he recovered from the orgasmic high. Adam didn’t have a chance to get a word out before Blake’s hand was down his pants, there was more teasing from Blake; whispered southern drawl, feather light touches, mouth on Adam’s neck but it took begging from Adam for Blake to seriously work at getting Adam to come. And as soon as he tried Adam was coming, it really didn’t take too long for either of them.

“Wow.” Adam laughed as fell back into his own chair.

“You know. We should get home. And then clean up.”

“Agreed. Your truck might need cleaning.”

“Don’t remind me Adam.” Blake chuckled, refusing to look at the mess, instead he hightailed it back home because these jeans were getting pretty uncomfortable pretty fast and he could only imagine how Mr Painted-on-and-painfully-tight-jeans felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cringed a little reading this.... Let me know what you think of it! I hate writing the sexy scenes so comments concerning them would be appreciated ;)


	11. Chapter 11

“You’re performing tomorrow, right?” Blake asked, the two were lounging on the sofa in the same place they’d been since arriving home from the doctors. Maybe not the whole time. They’d jumped in the shower, although going together only led to more distractions and Blake cleaned his truck up after the two had finished with their shower escapades. Then they’d somehow managed tangled together on the sofa with some random channel playing in the background.

“Yeah.” Adam sighed in response, his head was resting on Blake’s chest, the steady thump of his lover’s heart lulling him into a dreamlike state, a sleepiness overcoming him.

“What you gunna do?”

“Probably Sugar. I mean, it is our single and all.” Adam shrugged half-heartedly.

“But?” Blake knew Adam well enough to know there are some second thoughts here.

“I dunno man, I want to do something that means something. Like Beautiful Goodbye.”

“I get you Adam, I do, but some things aren’t meant to be shared. Do your single, it’ll help your sales.” Adam knew that what Blake was saying made sense. That song was special to the two of them for a reason no one would ever truly understand and to think about trying to show those emotions on stage, through a camera would be strange.

“You’re right. Damn it. Blake you’re not supposed to be smart, it confuses me.” Blake let out a chuckle, making his chest rumble strangely. “Stop moving. And laughing. Some people are trying to relax here.”

“Little Adam want a nap?” Blake teased, the smile clear in his voice.

“Yeah. I do. So shut the fuck up.” And he did, because they may be messing around but there was some sincerity in Adam’s words. With Blake waking him up in the middle of the night, late nights filming or in the studio, worrying about Blake and all the other shit in Adam’s life he could really do with the sleep and Blake knows it. Instead of answering back he placed his arm around Adam, pulling him impossibly closer to him and the two remained silent. The only noise being their breathing and the background blabbing of the TV. It didn’t take long for Adam to fall asleep, his mouth falling open and his face relaxing, in sleep he seemed to press himself closer to Blake with his hands making fists in his shirt. Soon the moment left and Adam’s grip loosened and he slept peacefully against Blake.

 

 

“And now a performance from our very own coach Adam Levine, with his band Maroon 5!” Carson announced. The place was filled with the deafening screams of female fans, with a few male voices booming in there too. Blake just smiled as his boyfriend appeared with his guitar, a sense of pride filling him. With the sensual dancing, the erotic lyrics and the fact that the brilliantly talented, and drop dead gorgeous, man on stage was his had Blake shuffling uncomfortably in his chair. Adam never misses a thing and Blake didn’t miss the smug smile that flashed on his face when he noticed Blake’s discomfort, and there was definitely another hip thrust aimed in his direction, Adam took advantage of the situation that no one could see his own arousal. Thankful for the guitar that covered his clothed erection, he made sure that his actions were as sensual as possible, shooting Blake looks whenever he could and dancing in his direction a little more than the others. Finally the song finished and Adam rushed backstage, placing his guitar in its stand and taking a minute to recover from his arousal with a few deep breaths and a moment alone. Eventually it was at a stage where no one would notice so he headed out to his chair, where Blake followed his every movement like a lion observing its prey and Adam tried not to think about that too much because as the thought crossed his mind his jeans felt a little tighter.

“Like the performance?” Adam asked the coaches as they waited for the first acts to be ready.

“You know I love you Adam.” Christina laughed.

“You are one hell of a performer.” Pharrell smiled, his eyes falling on the crowd before darting over to Blake. Christina and Pharrell weren’t fooled, they knew full well who Adam was performing for and they could only guess the effect it had on both of them.

“It was definitely something Adam.” Blake’s voice was lower than usual and Adam didn’t miss it, a coughing fit that had Adam on the edge of his seat in worry, helped Blake recover his voice before he started talking again. “Who’s the song about Rock Star? For anyone in particular?” Christina was doubled over laughing as Adam’s face flushed red and he quickly looked away.

“You are an ass Shelton.” He said, praying the act would be ready soon.

“You love my ass.” The audience were chuckling away at what they thought were jokes, little did they know all of this teasing was rooted in the truth and knowing Blake was pay-back for Adam’s act on stage.

“Alright. Our first act is ready, a round of applause please…” Adam forced himself to focus solely on the contestant giving their all on stage, but his eyes kept wandering to the Okie at the other end of the line. As did his thoughts, which weren’t entirely PG. “Thoughts Adam?”

“I thought it was a great performance. I could feel the emotion, it was a great song choice. Well done.” The comments were simple and completely useless, things that could be said to pretty much anyone and Adam caught Carson rolling his eyes at his response. It’s not his fault he was distracted, with a sip of his coffee that turned into a gulp he returned his gaze to the stage and made himself promise to pay more attention to the next act and not to think about Blake anymore.

 

 

It proved more difficult than he thought it would be, with Blake making borderline inappropriate jokes when the cameras were rolling and downright dirty comments when they weren’t. The whole thing was driving Adam crazy and Blake knew it, in his mind it was a justified response to the performance on stage.

“That was mean.” Adam huffed when they were alone in his trailer, he had insisted they stop there for him to grab some clothes he keeps there. Blake didn’t respond, instead pressing a passionate kiss to Adam’s lips. 

“You started it. You know full well how turned on I was by your little act up there.” Blake’s voice was growling in Adam’s ear, his breath tickling Adam’s neck who had turned around in an effort to appear angry, but with Blake’s southern drawl in his ear and his breath coming out in hot puffs against his skin Adam was having a hard time remembering why he was mad.

“I didn’t do it the whole show.” Adam finally managed to get the words out, his hand gripping the counter in front of him like his life depended on it.

“But yours was so much worse.” Blake ground his hips against Adam’s ass, his arousal made very clear. “So now I think you have a little problem to solve don’t you.” Adam was lost for words, managing to nod before seeming to come back to himself for a moment. He span around and kissed Blake, it was hot and messy and the two stumbled backwards until Blake fell against the couch. Adam tugged his jeans down along with his underwear, freeing Blake’s cock and before Blake could ask him what he was doing he had wrapped his mouth around it. “Holy shit.” Blake gasped, the warmth of Adam’s wet mouth sliding up and down his length making his brain stop working. His fingers made their way to Adam’s hair, who made a pretty stupid attempt at trying to swat Blake’s hands away before giving his all to the blow job and allowing Blake to card his hands through the hair that is usually so perfectly styled and is now a sexed up mess. Blake was moaning away, all sorts of obscene phrases falling from his lips that only egged Adam on and made him hard in the confines of his jeans. “I’m gunna come Adam.” Blake panted expecting Adam to pull away, instead he sucked harder and when Blake came with a cry he swallowed every last drop.

“Make up for it?” Adam asked, his voice raw but so damn sexy that Blake couldn’t form words at first.

“Fuck yeah.” He pulled Adam on top of him for a heated kiss, tasting himself in his boyfriend’s mouth as he moved his hands down to free his boyfriend, quickly undressing him. “I’m gunna fuck you know Adam. You like the sound of that?” Adam was so far gone already that Blake knew it wouldn’t take long, his only response to the question was a moan. Blake hoisted him up, Adam automatically wrapping his arms and legs around the taller man as he carried him to the bedroom in the trailer. Blake took a second to look at him before crawling onto the bed to join his lover after removing his own clothes, and he grew hard almost instantly at the sight of his boyfriend lying there naked and ready for him with his legs spread wide. “Fuck Adam, I feel like a teen all over again.” He muttered.

“Stop talking already you asshole and get in mine.” Blake chuckled at Adam who was looking at him with pleading eyes, soon enough he was pounding into Adam as he screamed his name. The two coming fairly swiftly, they lay there together recovering for a moment. “I’m showering first.” Adam decided, jumping to his feet a little too quickly as he winced at the pain. “Wow.”

“Sorry baby, didn’t mean to hurt you.” Blake apologised as soon as the smallest trace of pain passed across Adam’s features.

“I was in no way complaining Blake.” Adam rolled his eyes. “But I am definitely showering first. And that was the hottest night of my life. Just saying.” 

“I dunno. There have been some other days and nights that could rival that one.” Blake shrugged, a small smile as he heard his boyfriend wander back in.

“I gave you a fucking blow job. At work. Nothing is hotter than that Blake. Now stop being an ungrateful ass and start cleaning this place up.” As Adam climbed into the shower he heard Blake’s booming laughter and knew he’d fallen straight into his trap, he allowed himself a small smile at how well Blake knew him. They’d had some pretty great times together so far, Adam had to agree and maybe rating them was a little unfair and stupid because they are all incredibly hot and sexy. Because they were Adam and Blake, in Adam’s mind absolutely nothing can beat them together and Blake feels the same way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written around the time Adam performed on 'The Voice', hope you liked it :)   
> Thanks everyone who has commented, it really means a lot to me and puts a smile on my face! (Which is hard to do during A-level period)


	12. Chapter 12

Blake had caught something, god knows what, but the doctor gave him a handful of tablets and said there was nothing more they could do. That it should pass soon enough. Hopefully. There’s two more weeks of filming before Blake’s scheduled surgery, his family are flying in towards the end of the week and he is currently lying in bed with a raging fever, throwing up every hour and hacking his lungs up.

“Blake, are you alright?” Adam asked, his voice breaking through the haze in Blake’s mind.

“Yeah.” He managed to get the word out, his throat raw and his voice slurred and strange.

“You feeling any better?” This time Adam didn’t get a reply, only the shake of a head. He took the damp cloth by the bed and wiped Blake’s forehead, the man was burning up and Adam was trying everything he could think of to make him feel better and make it all a little more bearable. Any herbal remedies didn’t work out because Blake would throw them up within half an hour, Adam managed to force a bowl of soup down his throat earlier which lasted an hour and a half before Blake was throwing up in a bucket. Adam didn’t complain, he took the bucket away and cleaned it up before going to Blake with a glass of water. “You look like shit.” The words came out as a worried sigh, with the tumour and the illness caused by that Adam had been very wary of Blake and his health and this is exactly why. Whether the bug really is this bad or if Blake just doesn’t have the strength to fight it off is unclear, and that frightens Adam. He placed his hand on Blake’s head to see if he felt any cooler. “You need to take this blanket off Blake.”

“No. Cold.” Blake huffed, burying himself deeper into the blanket.

“Please, Blake, baby you are burning up.” Blake couldn’t argue with Adam, not now and not ever. Especially about this. So when Adam peeled the covers back Blake didn’t fight or complain, he shivered a little though. Adam noticed immediately, using the damp cloth he began to wipe away the sticky layer of sweat from his lover before bringing in a much thinner blanket. “Here use this okay.”

“I’m gunna go ‘sleep Adam.” Blake slurred, his eyes already falling shut.

“Sounds good baby.” Adam pressed a kiss to his forehead before leaving the room to grab his phone that he’d left in the kitchen. 20 missed calls. All from various members of the band. And two from Carson, accompanied by a text asking how Blake was doing. With a sigh Adam decided to call Jesse, if anyone is likely to be the most accepting and understanding it’s his lifelong friend.

“Adam! Where the hell are you dude? We’re waiting at the studio.” Adam felt like a complete moron for letting that particular piece of information slip his mind.

“Damn it. I’m an ass. I complete forgot.” He let out the apology with a frustrated and tired sounding sigh that didn’t slip past Jesse.

“Are you okay man? You sound worn out. And you never usually forget studio times.”

“Blake’s not well.” 

“Can’t Miranda look after him.” Adam completely forgot, again, that the guys don’t know about him and Blake or Blake’s tumour or Blake’s split from Miranda.

“No. She can’t.” 

“I know you’re looking out for a friend, but seriously Adam we have a deadline here.” Jesse sighed and for a second Adam wished he had called James, although the reaction would be similar. Before he could reply he heard the sound of Blake throwing up again.

“Shit. Adam.” Blake called out hoarsely sounding like a lost and sick little child, which just broke Adam’s heart, Adam shoved the phone in his back pocket without a second thought and was taking the steps two at a time in an effort to get there just that little bit sooner.

“It’s okay baby, I’m here.” Adam soothed him, rubbing his back like a child. Blake was only retching now, with nothing in his stomach to throw up. “Have a drink Blake.” He put the water in his hand and then reached his own hand up to check Blake’s temperature again. “You feeling better?”

“Not really.”

“Want anything?”

“Sex.” He replied hoarsely, a hint of a smile on his face.

“Not today buddy. You need to get better.”

“Spoilsport.” Blake yawned.

“You didn’t sleep long, go back to bed.”

“I feel like an invalid.”

“You are. But it’s okay.”

“Adam.”

“Stop talking already and go to sleep damn it.” Blake was struggling to keep his eyes open anyway, but the increased amount of conversation had Adam feeling a little optimistic.

“Okay. Thanks for everything.”

“You don’t have to thank me Blake.” Adam chuckled softly, pressed a kiss to Blake’s forehead again and brushed back the hair that had stuck to his face before leaving Blake to sleep once more. He was downstairs getting himself some water when he remembered the phone in his pocket. “Hello?” He asked, afraid of the answer.

“Dude. You could have just told us that you two are finally together.” Jesse laughed.

“No one knows yet Jesse, and I can explain soon after we tell Blake’s family. But, please, keep this quiet. We can’t deal with everything coming out before we are ready.”

“Sure man. But, next time, you are coming in anyway.” Jesse ordered.

“I won’t Jesse.” And before Jess could argue Adam hung up, gulping his water down quickly and firing off a text to Carson. 

 

 

Two days later and Blake was finally feeling better. He could keep food down and was up and moving, although with Adam’s very close supervision.

“I’m fine Adam.”

“You are not fine. I just spent two days nursing you back to semi-health. You are not fine.” Adam crossed his arms and leant against the doorframe.

“You were the sexiest nurse I’ve ever had.” Blake smiled as did Adam, although Blake could tell he was about to say something suggesting otherwise.

“Damn it Blake. Seriously. I was shit scared. I hated seeing you like that.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t even think. You know, I can’t thank you enough for helping me out Adam and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.” Blake slowly walked up to Adam, opening his arms and inviting him in for a hug.

“I hate that I can’t stay mad at you.” Adam fell into Blake’s arms.

“You were still the sexiest nurse I ever had.”

“Didn’t know you were into that kinda thing Shelton.”

“I’m not. Only with you.” And those words made Adam’s heart soar, the two meeting for a slow and passionate kiss.

“I love you man.” 

“I love you too.” Blake beamed, holding Adam close for a minute or two. “Now, you must have work to do Rock Star, go do it.”

“Trying to get rid of me?”

“Is it that obvious?” The two couldn’t help but laugh before Adam grew serious again. 

“I’m staying here to keep an eye on you baby.”

“Not happening Darling. If you really want give Carson a call, sure he’ll babysit. But I promise I’ll sit quietly on the couch and watch TV and that if I start feeling rotten I’ll call you.”

“You better Blake.” He nodded enthusiastically and Adam sent off a text to Carson who said he’d be straight over. “I’ll be back tonight. Anything you want for dinner?” Blake wanted to laugh at the domesticity of it all, but managed not to, knowing that Adam wouldn’t understand exactly why he’s laughing and get upset until he managed to explain it. Instead he smiled sweetly at Adam with those cute dimples and sparkling baby blues.

“You decide, I’m really not all that fussed.” Blake shrugged, chuckling as Adam rolled his eyes and started muttering about how Blake wasn’t at all useful and he’ll bring back some disgusting food for him. It was all in a day’s work. Blake is so thankful that being together romantically hasn’t affected their friendship, they are quick to insult each other and can mess around the same way only now they can kiss and have sex without it being weird or awkward. As far as Blake’s concerned it’s a win win situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late update! I was at a Supernatural Convention all weekend and have A-levels so have been super busy!!
> 
> <3 Hope this chapter makes up for it, would love to hear what you guys think xx


	13. Chapter 13

Carson was over maybe 5 minutes after Adam left, wandering in to find Blake on the sofa. "You okay there Blake?"

"Damn it Carson, I don't need babysitting." Blake grumbled. A little amused that Adam had really called in help, whilst feeling a little offended about the whole thing. He was not a baby and was more than capable of looking after himself. It’s endearing how much Adam cares, it’s cute when he gets all caring and mother hen, but calling back up for the few hours he leaves the house is a little over the top as far as Blake is concerned.

"Yeah well Adam feels differently. And he's been my friend for way longer." Carson shrugged sitting down beside Blake. 

"Nice to know where your loyalties lie." 

"Stop being such a grump Blake. Adam just cares about you, he is scared to death although he won't admit it. You being ill on top of the tumour, well it's stressing him out even more and you know it." It made so much sense and Blake hated it. A silence fell on the room whilst Blake mulled these words over, letting them sink in and thinking about just how much Adam has been doing that wasn't entirely necessary. And was definitely not expected.

"Way to make me feel like shit." He sighed. 

"Blake you know full well that wasn't what I was going for. Just think about Adam through all this, with your family coming down in two days and you being ill and the relationship and the album and the filming, everything is piling up for him." As was Blake's guilt. He was hating it more and more that Carson had come round, and regretted opening his stupid mouth more with every passing second and incredibly logical point from Carson. 

"I've been a dick."

"Nope. Adam told me that you've been fine, that he's fine too. We both know not everything he says is true, but he really is happy with you Blake. Happy with how things are, considering the situation."

"I'm gunna make it up to him." Blake beamed and jumped to his feet, wobbling unsteadily for a second. "What does Adam love?"

"You." Carson dead panned. Not even moving from his seat. 

"Not useful." Blake complained as he began to pace. "I could sing him a song. But it's not original enough."

"I really think you listening to him for once would make him happy."

"Maroon 5 does calm me down." Carson sighed in irritation at how obtuse Blake was being, any snarky comment was lost as Blake played Maroon 5 at dangerously loud levels in an attempt to have some sort of Adam epiphany. 'Never again.' Carson sent to Adam, glaring at Blake who was attempting to dance around the living room mumbling to himself. 'What has he done now?' Carson could almost hear Adams voice. 'Don’t matter. We’re done now anyway.' Carson shoved his phone in his pocket and locked his eyes on Blake, who was still pacing although now singing along to the music.

 

 

It didn't take long for Adam to show up after that, he wouldn’t admit it but he missed Blake even though he’d only seen him about an hour ago and he may or may not have driven a little over the speed limit in his rush to get back, although his big entrance went unnoticed with the music blaring through the speakers. With a proud smirk he turned off the music, both Carson and Blake turning to stare at him like some sort of intruder. 

"Good thing I'm not a burglar. You didn't even know I was here." Adam gave Blake a look that clearly said he knew it was his fault. 

"I missed you." Blake shrugged somehow appearing bashful, he moved closer to Adam and pulled him into a hug. "You know what you need a massage. Help loosen you up a little." Adam didn't get a say, Blake was already manhandling him, shoving him onto the sofa and manoeuvring him into a better position. 

"Sure Blake. That sounds great." Adam said sarcastically, Blake ignoring him whilst Carson just chuckled. "He hasn't been too much of a pain has he?" Adam struggled to look at Carson properly but eventually managed a semi-decent angle. 

"No. Not more than usual anyway."

"Thank god."

"We are relaxing now. Shut it both of you." Blake ordered, although he went ignored. 

"I mean, the guy’s always a pain and you know better than most. I'm guessing the family are coming on set when they are here?"

"I think sooo!" The rest of the sentence was lost as Blake found a particularly tense muscle, working it slowly with expert hands and eliciting a moan from Adam. 

"Damn Adam. Didn't know it felt that good." Although Adam couldn't see his lover he could hear the smirk in his voice and knows that his eyes will be shining with pride right now. 

"Dirty talk comes. Carson goes. See you guys tomorrow." He left quicker than usual, not waiting for any replies from either of them and fully expecting them to turn up late the next day. He's been forgiving recently, knowing the stress Adam is under as well as Blake he is giving them as much time as possible together because they deserve it. 

"You scared him off Blake." Adam muttered, trying to sound pissed but as expert hands massaged muscle he found it difficult to make anything sound remotely angry. 

"You did that all on your own." Blake chuckled leaning down and pressing kisses to Adams neck, a dirty moan escaping Adams mouth as Blake gently scraped a sensitive part with his teeth. 

"I hate you." Adam groaned, but Little Adam had different ideas and the amazing massage and the kissing and the talking had him interested. 

"I know that's not true." Sometimes Blake's southern drawl is more obvious than others, there's no reason or rhyme to it. He blames it on too much time in the city, too much time around Adam, whatever he can really because he likes to point fingers. The one time his southern accent always kicks in, without fail, is the bedroom. His voice drops lower and the southern twang is more pronounced than ever, and it never fails at getting Adam more aroused, getting him hard no matter where he is. If Blake is saying something even remotely dirty, something Adams mind can twist into some sexual fantasy, then you can bet that Little Adam is taking an interest in that southern voice. 

"God I love your voice." Adam moaned, not fully aware he was saying that out loud. 

"I love you." Blake replied, hands dropping lower on Adam.   
"I need you Blake." He was not ashamed of the desperation in his voice, especially not now in the heat of the moment. Maybe later, but spilt milk and all that jazz.

"Oh yeah? Need me to do what?" Adam cursed this side of Blake, that excited him further but left him frustrated as his brain struggled to function. 

"To fuck me damn it." 

"And if I don't want to?"

"Jesus Blake. Stop being an ass." Adam had great difficulty getting the words out, seeming to catch in his throat and coming out in between various quite embarrassing noises that only Blake can get from him. 

"Fine. Fine. Only ‘cause I know how hard you are right now." As if to prove a point he slipped a hand under Adams hip and brushed the hard cock whilst rocking his own hips into Adam and making his own excitement at the situation very clear. 

"Then what are you waiting for." Adam found that last sentence in him. Managing a cocky smile with darkened eyes too, Blake all but pounced on him. Clothing was ripped off and chucked without a care across the room as two naked bodies became one in every way that counts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it :D Would love to hear your thoughts on this :)


	14. Chapter 14

Blake was trying to watch the TV. Emphasis on trying. Because whilst he was sat there being the picture of stillness, calmness and serenity Adam was a wiggling, twitching mess of nerves. The man would not sit still. He’d stop for a moment, luring Blake into a false sense of security before suddenly jumping around again.

“Will you sit still damn it?” Blake snapped finally, turning to glare at Adam who had started tapping away on the objects beside him whilst still shuffling around.

“What are you talking about? I am always like this.” Adam laughed nervously.

“Bull.” Blake turned his full attention to Adam now. “They will love you Adam.” He pulled Adam closer, pressing a kiss to Adam’s neck in a bid to ease his boyfriend’s worry just a little. Today’s the day; Blake’s family are on their way over right now and both men should be worrying but in Blake’s opinion Adam is doing more than enough worrying for the both of them.

“You think?” Blake’s never heard that amount of self-doubt in Adam’s voice before, the pure desperation for approval seeming so out of character and it made Blake’s heart bleed.

“Adam. If they don’t like you it’s their loss, but know this, I love you. More than words could describe. You are everything to me, everything I need. If they care about me, they’ll care about you too.”

“I love you Blake.” Adam surged up and kissed Blake with a restrained passion, the two moving in time with each other. 

“I love you too Rock Star. Come on let’s get the food on the table, they’ll be here any minute.”

 

 

Blake wasn’t wrong, Adam was grabbing drinks from the fridge when he heard the door open.

“Blakey?” Dorothy called out, making Adam smile.

“In here Mumma.” Blake replied, grabbing two beers from Adam and taking them to the table. “Food’s just gone out.” People sat down after greeting Blake and being introduced to Adam, they’d met before but only briefly. Adam doubts they even remember.

“This looks lovely.” Richard commented, looking at the impressive spread of food.

“Adam helped out.” Blake smiled. “The dessert is amazing.”

“Oh shut up.” Adam muttered.

“Why is it you called us down anyway?” Endy asked, she had known from the moment he asked that something wasn’t right. They all had. “Not that we mind.” She hastened to add.

“You better not mind.” Blake laughed, one of those full laughs that echoes round the room, one that takes his whole body, one that makes Adam smile lovingly. But when he finally stopped his laughing he met eyes with Adam, where he received a soft glare that was pressing him to tell them. “You know, I have actually got something to tell you.”

“Yeah, go ahead son.” Richard encouraged, seeing how the words were refusing to leave his mouth.

“I’m sick.” And then he took a mouthful of food.

“Blake has a tumour.” Adam filled in, not without narrowing his eyes at Blake. “He’ll be going into surgery after this season of The Voice. They don’t think it’s cancerous, but removing it is the best option anyway.” They looked shocked.

“How long have you known?” Dorothy asked, looking sad and shocked and concerned.

“A little while Mumma, I didn’t wanna worry y’all. I’m getting it all sorted. And I’ve just been so busy I haven’t had the time.” Some of it was lies, but everyone pretended not to realise.

“We could have helped look after you. Me and your Father will stay in town, you need someone round the house.” Dorothy decided, not seeing the fearful look in her son’s eyes as he swallowed hard.

“Actually. I’m not in the house alone. I do have someone around.” Blake corrected, Endy smiled knowingly and looked from Blake to Adam. She was about to congratulate them when her father spoke.

“You’re back with Miranda?”

“No. God no. We didn’t work out.” Blake answered. “I’m actually-“

“You know, I think you should give her a call. Does she know? I’m sure you could find some way to fix your issues.” Dorothy interrupted.

“You aren’t listening to me!” Blake complained. “I don’t want to be with Miranda anymore!”

“Why the hell not? You married the woman, spent an unbelievable amount on your ranch and the life you two built together.”

“We fell out of love. It didn’t work between us. It never would and we were just kidding ourselves thinking it could. We were too different.” Blake argued, the conversation had taken an unprecedented direction and Adam was freaking out silently in his chair whilst trying to work out a way to ‘save’ Blake. 

“You don’t fall out of love Blake.” Richard said sternly.

“Yes you do. You do remember that was my second marriage right? Why does this even matter?”

“We liked Miranda.” Dorothy replied simply. “She was a good girl for you.”

“Blake you need to take your tablets.” Adam blurted after clearing his throat, Blake shot him a thankful glance. 

“You are right. Can you remember where they are?”

“Through there.” Adam got up and led him to the kitchen, he wasn’t expecting Blake to shove him against the fridge and kiss him with passion. “What was that?” Adam asked with a smile.

“They are killing me in there Adam.” Blake’s voice was hushed.

“You can keep it quiet, we don’t have to say anything at all.” Adam offered.

“No Adam. I meant it when I said that you will not be my dirty little secret. I ain’t embarrassed of you.”

“Good Cowboy, time to face the thunder?”

“Unfortunately.” Blake sighed, pressing another quick kiss to Adam’s lips. They walked in together, no one noticed really. Except Endy. She’d worked it all out and it really was pretty obvious if anyone really looked at the two of them. It was only after they sat down that Dorothy looked closely and thought about what had happened.

“You knew Blake had to take his tablets.” It was both a statement and a question as far as Adam was concerned.

“Yes Ma’am.” Adam replied politely, looking down at his plate and praying Blake will jump in.

“That’s who I was talking about Ma. Adam. Adam has been a star.” It was like Blake had heard Adam’s pleas for help.

“Adam?” Richard asked as if he wasn’t sat right there at the table.

“I’m happy for the two of you.” Endy congratulated, both men looking at her in shock. “You two are not as subtle as you think.” She laughed.

“What do you mean you are happy for them?” Dorothy asked, genuinely confused as she looked at the three ‘children’.

“Me and Adam are together. As in dating. Adam’s my boyfriend.” There was an ominous silence. “Aren’t you going to say something?”

“You’re not gay.” Richard stated.

“I’m not. I love Adam. It’s very different as far as I’m concerned.” Blake reached over and grabbed Adam’s hand.

“Love?”

“Yes Dad. Love. A strong positive emotion for another person.” Blake was forcing the words out now.

“Hunny, we are happy for you but have you thought about the effect this will have on your career?” Dorothy had a point, although she didn’t sound very happy at all. Adam froze, his whole body unnaturally still as the realisation of the effect this will have on Blake sunk in, he pulled his hand away and rested it on his lap instead.

“Adam?” Blake sounded hurt, and that’s because he was.

“They’re right. I’d never thought about it. Blake you love your music.” Adam’s voice sounded so fragile and broken that Blake felt like crying right there.

“Adam. I fucking love you. I will give it all up for you. Everything. My career, my money, my fame because any time with you is worth it.” 

“I can’t be responsible for this Blake. I can’t. I can’t take away what you love, you think you’ll be fine now but just wait a month or two down the line you’ll regret this. You’ll regret starting this with me.” Adam pushed himself away from the table, frantically wiping away unshed tears.

“I couldn’t regret you ever.” Blake sighed. “Not that I’d make another few months.” He added under his breath, but Adam heard. Oh god did Adam hear.

“NO!” He screamed, scaring everyone at the table. “This is why. Look at you. Giving up already. I thought you’d started fighting Blake. Started believing. I was obviously very wrong about that.” Adam was crying now and couldn’t care less, the anger boiling his blood along with the pain and sadness.

“You listen here Adam, no one is giving up.” Blake stood and edged closer to Adam who took a step back, ignoring the pained look on Blake’s face each time. “Adam. I love you damn it. When will you get it? There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I am fighting this. You gave me a reason to fight this. I meant that without you I wouldn’t make it.”

“I can’t be here right now Blake. I’ll take the spare room.” And with that he rushed off, Blake could still hear the sniffling and the room remained silent until they heard the slam of a door.

“We barely fight.” In fact, Blake thinks it may be their first actual fight and that hurts. “Dear god.” He dropped his head into his hands, an unbearable sadness overwhelming him.

“Blakey?” Usually his Mumma can fix anything, make any situation seem better but right now it just hurt Blake more.

“I think I’m going to bed too. Adam will be in the guest room furthest from mine.” Blake grumbled before leaving too.

“This is our fault.” Endy sighed, looking to her mother and father.

“Blake is just confused, it’s the sickness.” Richard stated.

“You are wrong.” He shot Endy a warning glance. “Those two have always been more than friends, they just never realised. They have an undeniable chemistry, even Miranda told me about how she had thought they had a thing on the side. Blake would never cheat, we all know that, and he most likely didn’t notice for a while. But it sure as hell isn’t some side effect of his tumour.” They looked at Endy in surprise.

“We messed up.” Dorothy muttered. “He was so happy when we got here. And look what we’ve done.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little bit of drama to spice this thing up :D Hope you guys like it, let me know what you thought in the comments XD


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - There is some graphic description in this chapter, reference to suicide etc.

Blake woke screaming Adam’s name, a cold sweat covering his body. He reached out to grab Adam’s hand but grasped only bed sheets, the nights events coming crashing back with a startling brutality.

“Damn it.” Blake muttered, coughs plaguing him. He knew he couldn’t sleep, not with dreams like that and not without Adam here. He just couldn’t. His body had different ideas, his eyes falling shut and he was trapped back in his dream.

Instead of Blake being the ill one it was Adam, Adam who refused any help or treatment because of all that yoga crap and Adam who didn’t tell anyone until it was a tad late. It was Adam who seemed unwilling to get any better, to fight this thing off. And right in that moment it was Adam who was coughing up blood, coughing with such a ferocity he was struggling to breathe. Blake managing to hear rasping breaths every 30 seconds or so, he was patting his back hoping to help but nothing was working. Eventually Adam threw up and it was all better, he fell silent with a sigh.

“I can’t do this anymore Blake.” And something wasn’t right about that.

“Can’t do what?”

“All of it.” Adam replied simply, Blake looked away for a second and when he looked back Adam gasped in pain as his face scrunched up.

“Adam? Adam? What the hell are you doing?” There was a knife in his hand, a fucking knife that was covered in blood. 

“I can’t fight it, so why try.” Adam shrugged weakly as he looked up at Blake.

“ADAM! BABY! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?” Blake was hysterical, Adam was slipping away before his very eyes and he was screaming and crying and begging. “Adam, I’ll fight. I’m   
sorry. Okay. I love you. Don’t leave. Please. Adam. Baby. Adam.” It turned into whimpering as he rocked the lifelessly body in his arms. The door was thrown open, Jesse stood there in shock.

“You killed him. He loved you and you failed him.” The words were like a shot to the heart.

“No. I love him. I didn’t. I love him. ADAM! He’s just sleeping. You’ll see.” He returned to screaming Adam’s name over and over. He was vaguely aware of someone calling his own name, of several someone’s calling his name, chanting it like a taunt. 

“Blake.” It was a whisper at first. “Stay still baby. It’s okay.” Adam’s soft voice floated towards him. “Wake up Blake. Come on baby, come back to me.”

 

For the second time that night Blake bolted upright, then threw up beside the bed, that was new.

“Shh. It’s okay. I’m here.” Adam whispered, holding him close and kissing his cheek. “I’m sorry. I was out of order earlier.”

“So was I Adam. I’m so fucking sorry.” Blake whimpered, his voice raw from screaming. 

“You stay here. I’ll get some water and something to clean that up with.” Adam left slowly, eyes lingering on Blake’s body. He’d heard enough to know what was happening, Endy had run in after hearing Blake talking in his sleep, then screaming. But it had quietened down. Adam couldn’t help but worry and when it started again he found Dorothy, Richard and Endy staring at Blake’s writhing body. They told him what had happened, what had been said. Somehow Adam got close without taking a hit to the face and woke him up, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t scared. Blake had never had nightmares that bad before. He returned with a towel and some water, as well as a handful of tablets. “You didn’t take them Blake.”

“I’m sorry. I was just so angry and upset it slipped my mind.” He swallowed them down without complaint, before noticing his Ma and Pa stood in the doorway.

“We’re sorry boys. This may be different to what we were expecting and what we are used to, but you’re happy. And that’s all that really counts. We’ll get used to this.” Richard said, it sounded a little rehearsed but both boys smiled at the effort.

“You are doing a good job here Adam. My son is a lucky man.” And with that they left the two lovers alone. Blake pulled Adam into a warm embrace almost immediately.

“Forgive me? Please.” He repeated it over and over, peppering kisses along Adam’s face and any other place he could reach.

“Of course I will Blake. Forgive me?” Adam was even more concerned, it was probably just the dream freaking Blake out, but seeing him act this way was unnerving.

“You didn’t do a thing wrong Darlin’. You are perfect. In every way. I could never live without you.” No more words were said, none that mattered anyway. Just whispered confessions and hushed apologies. 

 

 

Blake sat as close as physically possible to Adam, he’d barely parted from him since the nightmare.

“Blake, you sure you’re okay?” Adam asked for what felt like the thousandth time, but the answer was always the same; a simple nod. Blake was unusually quiet and still, so many things weren’t right and it was killing Adam. “You are freaking me out dude, this isn’t you.” Adam’s voice sounded so desperate, though even that didn’t get through to Blake, instead he tried to untangle himself from him.

“No. Stay.” Blake grunted, sounding a little like a petulant child.

“I have to make a phone call Blake. I’ll be right back. Okay? Endy will keep an eye on you.” Adam pressed a kiss to his forehead and left, the fact that his family had noticed something was up with Blake was enough to convince Adam it wasn’t an imagined issue. So he phoned Dr Murphy.

“Hello, Dr Murphy speaking.”

“Hi Doc, it’s Adam.”

“Ah yes, Blake’s boyfriend. Is everything alright?” Adam could sense the smile in Dr Murphy’s voice and it helped calm him down, they are lucky to have such a kind Doctor, Adam’s had some assholes in the past.

“No actually. Blake had a bad dream last night after a fight, and he’s not himself Doc. He’s quiet, he will barely leave my side, everything’s wrong.” Adam sighed, letting out his concerns lifting a weight of his shoulders.

“I think it’s best if I pop round for a visit. Is that alright with you?”

“That’s perfect. Thanks Doc. I’ll text you the address.” To say Adam was relieved would be an understatement, he sent the text immediately after hanging up and then went back to the sofa where he was pulled into Blake’s vice-like grip. No words were exchanged, but Blake pressed his face into Adam’s neck and just lay there. It didn’t take long for the good Doctor to show up, if he had sped a little on the way here no one would be the wiser, if he was more than a little concerned the care-free smile on his face would deceive anyone.  
“Hi there Blake. I came to check up on you.” He announced from the doorway, it was Dorothy who let him in since Blake refused to let Adam leave. Blake seemed to decide the Doctor wasn’t worth a response, he looked up and met his eye for a minute before returning his attention to Adam.

“You know Blakey, the Doc just wants to help you out.” Adam reminded him, a small and hopefully reassuring smile on his face.

“I’m fine.” Blake muttered.

“I’ve heard you had a bit of a bad dream Blake, do you need to talk about it?” The fact that there was no response was response enough, Doctor Murphy didn’t miss the way Blake’s body froze or the way he held Adam a little tighter. “Was it about Adam?” This received a nod, slow and barely there but a nod all the same. “It wasn’t a good one was it?” 

“No.” It was released as a sigh, even from the doorway the Doctor could see the tears that were now falling down Blake’s face. He moved closer, making sure to move slowly so he didn’t make things worse.

“It was only a dream Blake. You know that. You’ve had these before.” 

“It was so much worse.” Blake’s voice was broken, in spirit as well as physically. Adam looked at him in surprise, his eyes shining with concern. “He. He was dead.” Adam was pulled closer once more. “He died in my arms. He wanted it. Chose it. And the blood was everywhere. It was my fault. I didn’t love him enough. He didn’t know.” Blake was bordering on hysteria once more, the others almost glad he was still able to string together so many words.

“I do know Blake. I know you love me and I wouldn’t ever want to leave you. You know that.” Adam assured him, moving to kiss his cheek.

“It’s okay, because he’s here and you’re here.” Doctor Murphy watched closely, taking in every minute detail. He hadn’t seen something like this before, something so serious sparked by a simple nightmare, sure seeing someone shaken is always going to happen. But Blake was broken, it was like Blake was suffering from shock or PTSD, it was strange. “You know why it hurts so much?”

“No.”

“Because you love him.” A fog seemed to have lifted in Blake’s eyes, he still remained far away but something seemed to have come back. “And he loves you. This dream was a manifestation of your fears Blake, nothing more. After fighting with your family and Adam, after spending the night alone your brain attempted to come to terms, evaluate your darkest fears. It’s only natural. It feels real now, but trust me it wasn’t. What’s happening now is your conscious mind is struggling to process what happened, you are still reeling from the dream. A side-effect being this withdrawal.” At some point he switched from addressing Blake to addressing Adam, explaining why he was acting the way he was. By the end of his little spiel Blake was looking more like himself.

“Thanks Doc. I needed someone to make me see sense. Adam’s too soft.” There was a gentle smile sent back to Adam, who returned it immediately.

“Anything for my favourite patient and co.” Doctor Murphy laughed. “Don’t hesitate to call if you have any concerns at all.” There were a lot of thank you’s and offers for any food or drink or a freakin’ movie, but the Doctor declined them all and left with a pleased smile.

“Sorry for worrying y’all.” Blake’s voice was still on the quiet side, but he was breaking through and that in itself was enough to calm the others.

“You have nothing to be sorry for Blake.” Adam kissed him on the lips this time, pleased to have Blake kiss back. “Everything’s fine. Me and you, we’ll always find a way.” And this time it was Adam who snuggled into Blake’s side with a sigh. The two smiling blissfully as they watched some god-awful cheesy romance for the girls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like the chapter! Let me know what you think of it :D  
> Finally finished my exams so updates should be regular now, Thanks to everyone that commented :) x


	16. Chapter 16

“Invite them Blake.” Adam muttered angrily.

“No.”

“Blake. If you don’t I swear to God.” Adam warned as Blake sighed in defeat, he knows when it’s a lost cause and if Adam is this hell bent on this happening then it will happen.

“Fine. But I don’t think it’s a good idea.” 

“I really don’t care.” With a shove Blake stumbled into the living room where his mother, father and sister were sat talking animatedly, although they all fell silent when he tripped through the door. “Guys, I was wondering if you wanted to come to the set with us tomorrow?”

“Should you be working? You were a little out of it yesterday morning.” Dorothy asked, looking carefully at her son.

“I can’t not work Ma, I’ll be fine. Do y’all want to come or not?” A hint of irritation leaking into his voice, Blake didn’t even mean to, not really, no one wants to get on the bad side of Dorothy, but that does not mean it doesn’t happen.

“I do!” Endy cheered, helpfully distracting Dorothy from the tone of her son’s voice, eventually Richard and Dorothy nodded too.

“Alright then, we leave pretty early. And one of you will have to ride with Adam.”

“I’ll go with Adam.” Endy managed to beat the other two to it, she did it for Adam’s sake, no one deserves the questioning he’d get from either one of her parents.

“Brilliant. Well, me and Adam are calling it a night now. See you three bright and early, Adam’s making pancakes.”

“AM NOT!” Adam shouted from the stairs, making Blake smile.

“Alright, I’ll make the pancakes.” Blake sighed.

“LOVE YOU!”

“Whatever you spoilt Rock Star. Get ready for bed.” Blake called back to him.

“Night Blake.” Richard smiled at him.

“Say goodnight to Adam too.” Dorothy added, Blake was more than overjoyed with the slow acceptance of what they have. Honestly, he was expecting a massive fight about it with his parents, but the fight with Adam was a surprise. This however, this willingness to accept what they had shocked him more than it should have.

“I will, night.” Blake walked away with a shit-eating grin on his face, Adam raising his eyebrows in an unspoken question. “Parent’s said goodnight to ya.” The small and proud looking smile on Adam’s face didn’t go unnoticed by Blake, he moved closer and pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s lips.

“I love you so much Cowboy.” 

“I love you too Rock Star.” The two met again for a passionate kiss, Blake’s hands wandering across Adam’s bare chest.

“They aren’t hating me again.” Adam insisted, pushing Blake away. “You gotta wait ‘till they are gone for any of that.” Blake wandered off grumbling, but he knew deep-down Adam was more than right. His parents are being understanding, but hearing that will only push them away. For now he can behave himself. Probably.

 

 

It was Adam he should have worried about. Blake can control himself, no doubt about it, what he can’t control is Adam swanning in to the kitchen in those painted on jeans and nothing else. Endy practically spat her orange juice out on the counter.

“Sorry guys.” He was not sorry, at all. “Blake, have you seen my shirt?”

“Urm. Which one?” Blake was too busy staring at all that skin and trying to remember how to form words.

“Any of them.” Adam shrugged.

“This was all a ploy.” Blake muttered angrily, ripping his eyes away and returning to the pancakes. “Dryer maybe, or hanging in the wardrobe.”

“Can I have some pancakes?”

“Not without a shirt.”

“Why? Is it distracting you?” Blake heard the teasing loud and clear.

“You know what? It is. Okay. Go put a freaking shirt on Adam.” 

“You never usually mind.” Is it possible to hear a pout? Blake did, he could imagine the look on Adam’s face right now. “Maybe I’ll borrow one of your shirts.”

“Oh for god’s sake fine. Sit there asshole.” Blake blurted.

“Thanks baby.” Adam smiled leaning in to kiss Blake’s cheek, he wasn’t expecting Blake to go all passive aggressive and pull him into a kiss that was full of passion and had them   
pulling away gasping for air. 

“Sit down before I burn the pancakes.” Blake ordered, and Adam’s brain was still reeling from that kiss so he numbly fell into the seat whilst expertly avoiding the eyes of Blake’s family. The plate was placed in front of him, with a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll even get you a shirt.”

“Love you!” Adam called after him before devouring the plate, he’d finished by the time Blake returned with a shirt.

“You are a monster.” 

“Only with you.” Adam smiled saucily as he pulled on his shirt. “Those were good pancakes by the way.”

“Only the best for my City Boy.” Blake shrugged, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Leaving in fifteen.”

“Got it. Need anything from upstairs?” Adam was already half way out the door.

“Could you get my boots?”

“You got it Cowboy!” A mock salute and Adam was bounding out the door, Frankie wandering in and sitting beside Blake. 

“I know, he’s got more energy than you. Like a human puppy.” Blake sighed. 

“You two are adorable.” Endy laughed, making Blake jump a little. He’d kinda forgot that his family were sat right there.

“Yeah, yeah. I mean it guys, make sure you’re ready because me and Adam can’t afford to be late right now.” Blake reminded them, they all nodded and smiled, which Blake is taking as a confirmation of them being ready to walk out that door in 15 minutes time.

“Got them!” Adam announced happily another 5 minutes later, handing over Blake’s boots.

“What took you so long?” Blake grumbled.

“You throwing your boots across the room.” Adam raised his eyebrows in a silent dare for Blake to carry on complaining.

“Sorry.” Blake mumbled, feeling a little ashamed about being so grumpy. Having his family around is putting him on edge. A fit of coughing took over, silencing everyone, when Blake was finally upright again he was met with a glass of water and a handful of tablets.

“You seriously need an alarm or something.” Adam sighed, the concern clear in his eyes as he watched Blake swallow the tablets. “It’s important you take them Blake.”

“I know Adam. I do. I got you here to help me out though.” Adam managed a small, weak smile in response, but couldn’t help but wish for Blake to show he could be alone – not that he’d leave. Like ever. It’s just, Adam is a busy guy, he’s always doing something and right now everything is on hold. And it’s worth it, but he’d like to be able to say he’s going to the studio for a day or even just a few hours without that constant nagging voice in the back of his mind worrying about Blake.

“Yeah, you are one lucky guy. Now we need to get going.” The others jumped to their feet, Endy falling into step beside Adam. Blake and Adam shared a quick farewell kiss, they’d be seeing each other soon anyway before climbing into their cars.

“You love my brother, right?” Endy asked as soon as the door had closed.

“Of course I do. More than I thought was possible.” His answer was completely honest, although he was starting to worry about just how much of an interrogation this will turn into. 

“Good. I’m not watching him fall out of love again.” The exasperated sigh that escaped from Endy’s mouth made Adam smile, he could tell she really cared about him and he knew that Blake would do almost anything for her. “So then Adam, tell me, is he good in bed?” Adam almost crashed the car in his surprise.

“What?” He stammered, struggling to get the word out.

“I’m only joking.” She laughed. “I’m not my parents, I don’t plan on interrogating you. Although, my thoughts are with Blake at this time, who may or may not make it out of this journey alive.” Adam couldn’t help but chuckle and glance in the rear-view mirror to check on Blake, the three were talking for sure, Adam just hoped it was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! And if there is anything you'd like to see let me know :)


	17. Chapter 17

“So you love him?” Dorothy asked, eyes falling on Blake.

“Yes. Is it hard to understand? I want to be with him for the rest of my life, he makes me smile and he really cares. We have a connection.” 

“But, you had a connection with Miranda too. What if you ‘fall out of love’ again?” Richard questioned and Blake could hear the quotation marks around that little phrase he had used during the announcement.

“We won’t.” Blake was confident about that, the bond between him and Adam is something indescribable.

“Is that it? All you can say about it?” 

“Adam stayed with me, despite me lying to him about what was wrong with me. Adam has been happy to sit in the shadows until I was ready to tell anyone, he has been there behind the scenes picking up all the broken pieces and making sure I don’t end up dead.” The anger was barely restrained, Blake was gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles were white.

“Blake hunny, we aren’t trying to break you up. We just want you to be happy, to be sure this is what you want.” Dorothy recognised when her son was angry, her voice taking on a calming tone.

“Good. Because I would pick Adam over anything.” He wasn’t lying. He’d said it in the past and Blake really meant it, he’d pick Adam over his career any day, over the fame and the fortune and even over his family. Adam seemed to make everything okay, like the sun he brightened up Blake’s day, without him Blake’s life would be meaningless. There were a few minutes of silence as the words sunk in and his parent’s realised just how serious all of this was.

“As long as you are happy, we are happy.” Richard finally chose to break the silence.

“Your Dad’s right Blake, we just want to see you happy. We thought Miranda was the one, but if you are truly happy with Adam then we are happy too.” Dorothy agreed and whilst Blake winced at the mention of Miranda the sentiment was still positive.

“Thanks guys, Adam will be over the moon.” Blake beamed. “He was so stressed you wouldn’t like him, or accept this relationship. God, the smile will be so worth it.” It was more Blake talking to himself, the happiness a little overwhelming, his parents couldn’t help but smile.

 

 

Adam and Blake couldn’t stop looking at each other from across the set, receiving more than one telling off from Carson, not that it stopped them.

“Will you two focus for like 15 minutes here?” Carson asked in irritation, there was only so much he could take.

“Probably not.” Adam admitted, eyes locked onto the floor like he was ashamed or embarrassed, which just doesn’t happen. Carson has been friends with Adam for years, he knows that this is a rare occurrence and it stirred the final few embers of his patience.

“Just try, please, for god’s sake.” Carson sighed. “One more time, let’s see if we can do it this time.” Blake and Adam both nodded and attempted to stay focused, so maybe their eyes wandered once or twice with a fond smile, but that isn’t totally new or unexpected.

“Can we break now?” Blake asked eagerly.

“Fine, be on time tonight.” He received eager agreements from both men, who rushed off to a trailer, and abandoned Blake’s family. “Sorry guys, those two get a little lost in each other.” He felt the need to apologise for them, although it’s hardly Carson’s fault.

“We’ve noticed.” Endy smiled, laughing a little as she thought about all the dumb love-struck things those idiots had done today.

“It’s kinda hard not to.” Carson agreed, smiling sheepishly. “I’m surprised people haven’t caught on, and I’m not just talking about this Shevine thing.”

“You and me both buddy.” Dorothy and Richard looked a little lost, they love their baby boy, but they don’t watch the show religiously and definitely stay away from all the gossip – Blake’s orders that one. 

“You guys can hang out in the green room until one of them shows their face again, I wouldn’t risk trying either trailer. Trust me on that one.” With a warning glance and a friendly smile Carson left the three stood in the studio.

“I could really use a coffee, you guys coming?” Endy had noticed how uncomfortable her parent’s had been since the start, they don’t usually do things like this, it’s always a very rare occurrence. 

“That sounds great.” Richard agreed enthusiastically.

“Lead the way Lovely.” Dorothy smiled sweetly, motioning for Endy to escort them to the green room. She decided that Blake and Adam owed her big time for constantly saving their asses and having their backs in this whole relationship thing.

 

 

When Adam and Blake finally decided to show up every one in the room looked up, some knowingly, other’s disapprovingly and a few seemed a little confused.

“Make-up are expecting you again.” Pharrell announced from where he was sat on the sofa, a cup of steaming tea (at least that’s what it looked like) in his hand. 

“Fuck.” Adam muttered. “Why can’t they just leave me alone? I can do my own damn hair.” 

“I like it how it is.” Blake smirked, pressing a kiss to Adam’s cheek as he grabbed a sandwich from the buffet table. Adam’s hair was a sexed-up mess, in a rush to return to Blake’s family he had been pushed out the door without a second to make himself presentable, so his hair was sticking out in all different directions. But it’s undeniable, it was both adorable and sexy, which is something only Adam Levine could pull off.

“See. He likes it.” 

“You look like you’ve just had sex.” Christina pointed out. “I mean, I know that’s what you were doing, but the public don’t know.” Adam’s face flushed the same colour as the crimson couch he was sat on, suddenly finding the floor very interesting and taking a bite out of his sandwich that was bordering on too big.

“Sex?” Dorothy asked, saying the very word as if it was a scandal, Blake couldn’t help but grimace at the whole situation whilst Christina looked rightfully guilty.

“Does it matter right now?” Blake sighed, placing a hand on Adam’s knee. “Get your ass to make-up before they get mad. Someone has to try and make you look presentable.”

“Baby. I am always presentable.” 

“Make-up beg to differ.”

“They just don’t appreciate my style.” Adam argued.

“What style? Homeless and holefull.” Blake chuckled, so Adam wore a holey white t-shirt for a while, it was cool, and so he wears ripped jeans, they are cool too.

“Fuck you Blake. That’s what’s in. Let me just remind you who has a clothing line.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever Mr Armani.”

“I hate you. So much.” Adam wandered off, maybe shaking his hips a little more than he would usually, not that he’d admit to anything.

“I thought you said you guys never fight.” Richard sounded very confused by it all, and the look of confusion only increased when Christina started cackling, even Pharrell was cracking up a little although he hid it behind his cup. 

“Those two, not fight? I would be genuinely concerned if that didn’t happen.” Christina gasped eventually.

“That wasn’t a fight.” Blake shook his head in despair, both at the situation and the people he has to work with. “That is the basis of our relationship. We mean well. What you saw the other night, that was a fight and a half and it was our first fight and I would like it to be our last.”

“As if! Have you met Adam?” Christina looked bemused, her smile so wide that Blake was sure it must hurt.

“You know what, I have actually. I don’t just climb into bed with every pretty little thing I see without any sort of attachment.” 

“He thinks I’m pretty.” Adam laughed from the door, pretending to swoon and Blake just wishes he had called in sick or something. “You’re not all that bad to look at either.”

“Careful Adam, that was dangerously close to a compliment.” Blake warned, a smile tugging at his lips as their usual banter had him forgetting how irritated he was.

“What can I say, I’m in a good mood and thought I’d skirt round the edges.” Adam shrugged, moving to sit beside Blake, where he then pressed himself as close as physically possible without being on his lap.

“You know, I think you guys should have your own show.” Pharrell smiled, those all-seeing eyes locked on the pair. “It would be a hit. And highlight some of the issues in the industry. It would be a real eye-opener.”

“Urgh. No. I see enough cameras as it is.” Adam hid himself beneath Blake’s arm. “Days when we can stay in bed for hours without any camera being shoved in your face or paparazzi seeing you at your favourite coffee place or thousands of flashing lights is a nice change.” He added, not meaning to sound ungrateful at all. Adam loves his job. Being a musician, a rock star, was all he ever dreamed of, but the constant threat of being caught on camera is a burden he wasn’t expecting, there is no room for error and sometimes the pressure can be a little too much. Which is when Blake would suggest a trip to his middle-of-nowhere ranch.

“God, paparazzi make my head hurt.” Blake agreed. “They found us at our little coffee spot, you know the one with the fairy lights and wooden tables and everything just feels like home?” Pharrell nodded, he’d been the one to suggest the place after all. “Now we can’t go back for a good month at least.” Blake complained.

“Yeah, Big Country was partial to their strawberry tarts.” Adam smiled fondly, his eyes taking in every inch of Blake.

“Best tarts I’ve ever tasted. And I’ve had a lot.” Blake nodded, being completely serious, and the guys paid attention. If there is one thing Blake has been right about, it’s desserts. He hasn’t had a disappointed review on something he has recommended since high-school, and that one had been part of a dare.

“You know they do deliveries right?” Pharrell had one eyebrow raised and calmly took another sip of tea as he watched Blake and Adam do amazing impressions of some goldfish.

“They what?” A smile and a nod was all the answer they got.

“I am phoning right now.” Blake shoved Adam to the side and high-tailed it to his trailer where his phone was, leaving Adam laughing on the couch and shouting about ordering something for everyone. Delivery service. This changes everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'll be without internet until Saturday, which means no updates till then :( But feel free to comment, love hearing what you guys think <3


	18. Chapter 18

Blake’s family had left after the live show and gave their relationship their blessing, which lifted a weight off Blake’s shoulders he wasn’t aware he was carrying. And today they are on the Ellen show, he had left all that to Adam who was currently making an impressively large heap of clothes.

“Dude, I don’t want to look stupid. What should I wear?” Adam shouted from the wardrobe.

“Something you feel comfortable in? Be yourself Adam, we are there to tell everyone how we really feel, so dress like yourself.” Blake sighed, he had thrown on his usual clothes, because honestly he’d rather be comfortable than dressed up, it’s not like they’re on a date or doing anything overly classy.

“Damn. I guess.” Adam sighed, appearing before Blake in a nice tight white shirt, cut off at the arms with some jeans on. Blake would be lying if he said it wasn’t a little distracting, it pretty much highlighted everything about his little Rock Star and had his mouth feeling a little dry. “Alright?”

“Gorgeous.” Blake assured him, giving him a kiss for good measure. 

“Do you think she’ll notice this is what I wore last time?” He sounded honestly concerned about that.

“Sweetheart, I am 80% sure she won’t even care.” 

“80 isn’t a lot Blake.” Adam pointed out, a small smile on his face.

“It’s better than 70.” Blake shrugged, grabbing Adam’s hand. “We aren’t here to talk numbers, let’s get going.” Adam nodded, moving quicker than Blake and pulling him along, apparently eager to tell the world as he practically ran to the truck.

“Hurry up Blake!” Adam called as Blake was locking the door.

“I’m coming damn it!” Blake shouted in response, checking the door was locked properly before following Adam into the truck. “Not taking a flashy sports car?”

“Sacrifices must be made in a successful relationship.” 

“Who are you, Oprah?”

“Oh fuck you. Just drive already.” Blake couldn’t help but laugh as he began driving towards the studio.

 

 

“Sorry we were a little late guys.” Adam smiled sheepishly, the audience going wild.

“Yeah, someone decided that he knew a much quicker shortcut.” Blake looked accusingly at Adam.

“I did know a shortcut! Not my fault everyone else knew too.” 

“Hey, let’s not fight guys. You are here now.” Ellen interrupted before it got too heated, this little ‘discussion’ had been going on backstage.

“Yeah. Thanks to me.” Adam glared at Blake even more at that.

“And why is that exactly?”

“Because otherwise you’d still be emptying your wardrobe.” Blake pointed out, Adam blushing a little.

“You two seemed to be really close.” Something about the look on her face told Blake that Ellen was working something out, she knew something was up.

“You could say that.” Adam shrugged, this time leaving Blake to look gob-smacked.

“Disagree with that Blake?” Ellen asked, still looking as if she was solving some sort of puzzle.

“No. If that’s how he feels then that’s how I feel.” In Blake’s mind, this was Adam backing out, not an invitation for him to share the news, but a hold it I’m not read kind of deal. So when Adam looked at him in outrage, Blake was confused.

“You expecting something a little different Adam?” Ellen’s voice had a hint of teasing to it.

“I kinda was actually.” Despite being squished onto one sofa, Adam somehow managed to turn his back on Blake and make him feel more alone then he had since the two had got together. 

“Hold it right there Rock Star. What is it you want me to say?” Blake’s voice had a hint of hysteria and desperation to it that shocked the room into silence.

“You know what.” Adam said angrily, his eyes shining with hurt.

“No. Actually. I don’t.” Blake replied, the confusion was clear on his face yet Adam ignored this.

“Yes. Blake. I get it. Maybe this was a mistake.”

“Wow. What? Seems a little harsh? I can’t read minds, so sue me!” Blake exclaimed, Adam just shook his head sadly and got to his feet.

“I’m just grabbing a drink, you know, throats kinda sore.” It was a blatant lie, but the tears were almost falling down his face and Adam needed to get out of there. He made it to his feet before Blake grabbed his wrist, he turned to shout at him, instead meeting his lips. The two kissing like they were the only ones in the room.

“I really don’t know what it is you wanted Adam, but I hope I haven’t messed up too badly.”

“You are such a doofus.” Adam laughed, wiping away a lone tear. “I wanted you to tell them you idiot, that’s why we are here after all!”

“Yeah, but I thought you were going to. And that saying we were just close was your way of freaking out.” Blake explained, Adam just kissed him again.

“No freaking out.” He assure Blake before turning to the stunned audience. “So... This amazing man happens to be my boyfriend, wouldn’t change him for the world and all you haters can go to hell.”

“Congratulations!” Ellen cheered, pulling them both into a hug as the audience clapped and cheered too. “So this is the big announcement.”

“That and something a little more sobering.” Adam sighed, looking to Blake to explain this one.

“I have a tumour, nothing too serious at the moment. But, I’ll be going into surgery as soon as this season of The Voice is over.” There was silence again. “Look on the bright side, Adam gets to play nurse.” That got a chuckle from the audience and a smile from Ellen.

“We’ll all be thinking of you Blake, and with Adam by your side then I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“He isn’t allowed to not be okay.” Adam said sternly, looking pointedly at Blake.

“You know what, now you say it, I’ve completely changed my mind about being not okay.” Blake rolled his eyes. “I know Adam, I don’t want anything to be any worse than it is right now. Me and you are only going up.”

“I think you guys might be the new cutest thing on TV.” Ellen smiled.

“Nothing between us is changing.” Adam assured her. “Except for the fact we live together and kiss and… I’m sure you can work out the rest.” Adam grinned, nudging Blake in the side.

“Adam’s a sucker for a good massage.” Blake winked suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows at Adam.

“One time Blake!”

“Alright, hold it right there, try and keep this at least PG13.” Ellen warned them, her eyes shining with happiness. “I am really happy for the two of you, what made you come out and admit it?”

“I don’t want Adam to be my dirty little secret, the country world isn’t known for its openness to people interested in the same sex and Adam worried about what would happen to me and my career. But I would give up everything to be with him, he’s worth losing it all.”

“And with Blake, it all makes sense. I’m a kid born and raised in LA, there aren’t many people who haven’t done a little experimenting, I’ve been with a lot of people and I can say that nothing compares to when you find the right one.” The two got a little lost in each other, all smiles and dimples and shining eyes and those wrinkles around said eyes. “Not that I’d give up my career for him or anything.”

“Of course not.” Blake smiled in return, pulling Adam closer to him for the rest of the interview.

 

 

As they walked back to the car the smile was still plastered to his face. “We don’t have to hide anymore.” He whispered excitedly, not really aiming it at anyone.

“I know. Just wait until I get you out in public.” Adam laughed, spinning Blake round for a kiss, one that immediately became more intense and passionate. “Home?”

“Fuck yes.” The two rushed to the car, this time not experimenting with any shortcuts, they were so lost in each other as soon as they had their feet back on solid ground that Blake didn’t even think of teasing Adam for the much quicker journey. Instead he crashed their lips together after fumbling with the keys, no words were needed. After all, actions speak louder than words. And their actions were fairly loud that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Thought I'd update straight away :)   
> Let me know what you think!


	19. Chapter 19

Time seemed to fly by after that. Things were happening so quickly, with the final of The Voice and the surgery and their announcement all happening within a week of each other they didn’t really have time to look at ‘the real world’. Neither of them won that season of The Voice, in fact, it was Pharrell who took the crown this year. And surely prevented major arguments and teasing between Adam and Blake. But, today was the day.

“You are going to be absolutely fine.” Adam assured Blake, holding his hand tight. They’d already administered the anaesthetic and Blake was slowly making less sense and getting drowsy.

“Promise you’ll be there.” His hazy eyes met Adam’s, somehow managing a lazy smile.

“Blake, I’m not even leaving the hospital. I’m camping out in the café.” Adam smiled softly, hiding all his concerns behind a confident façade. “As soon as you are out of surgery I’ll be in your room waiting for you to wake up.” He leant down and kissed Blake’s cheek.

“I love you Adam.”

“I love you too.” It was only after hearing this that Blake stopped fighting the tiredness, let his heavy eyelids fall shut, Adam’s soft voice was saying something or maybe even singing, it was just beautiful background noise as Blake fell into the darkness.

 

“Stop stressing Adam, the surgery takes time. He’ll be absolutely fine.” Jesse assured him. After an hour with no news Adam began freaking out, so he called his best friend.

“You’re sure?”

“No. I’m not sure. But I’m pretty damn close Adam.” Jesse chuckled, he thought it was cute how concerned Adam was, he hadn’t seen him this in love with another person since Jane and we all know how that went. “Did you want me to come by and keep you company?”

“No man, I’ll be fine.” Adam sighed, but Jesse wasn’t convinced.

“Too bad, I’m coming anyway. Not like I’m doing anything special or interesting.” He placed the book he had been reading, that was actually pretty interesting, back on the coffee table, already searching for his shoes.

“Thanks dude, I really appreciate it.” The sincerity was shocking, Jesse had always been able to read Adam like a book, so he knew that his buddy needed someone there right now.

“No problem. I’ll be there in 15. 30 if I can’t find those damn shoes.”

“Alright, see you!” Adam was smiling when he hung up, he’d been lucky to find such a great group of guys. He was surrounded by a family of friends, of people he could rely on no matter what and no matter when. He returned his focus to his laptop, staring stubbornly at the music he’d programmed in. There was something missing and he just couldn’t put his finger on it, the scribbled lyrics on the napkin beside him were of no use either, not until he could get in a booth or somewhere quiet and record them. Or just write a better song. The melody needs a lot more work and so do the lyrics, additionally Adam still isn’t sure if those two things go together yet. He just wasn’t with it today, instead of being able to focus on the music and give that as much of his attention as possible, which is no easy feat with ADHD, instead his mind would drift back to Blake. 

“You’re staring at the laptop like it’s killed a man.” Jesse announced, causing Adam to nearly fall off his chair in shock.

“It’s killed this song. And my creativity.” Adam mumbled in irritation.

“Coffee and cake?” Jesse suggested, pushing the plate and cup towards Adam like a peace offering.

“I knew we were friends for a reason.” The cake was gone in minutes, Adam hadn’t eaten since Blake had and they advised not to eat at least 24 hours before the surgery and since Blake’s gone in his mind’s been elsewhere.

“Why are you working on a song anyway?” Jesse asked, a fond smile on his face as he watched his friend move on from getting every last crumb of cake from his plate to sipping at his drink.

“I wanted to distract myself from all this. Thought I should use the time to do something positive.”

“There’s a reason we didn’t invite you down to the studio Adam. No one expects you to work whilst Blake’s in there, it’s almost impossible.” It made sense to Adam, he had trouble on a normal day unless he was feeling overly creative, and then the trouble is getting him to stop. So taking a step back seems like a good idea.

“I can’t just sit around and wait though. It could be hours yet.” Adam sighed, closing his laptop over and leaning back in his chair, his hands pulling at his hair as he tried to think of something he could do.

“Then talk to me.” Jesse said simply, when he saw Adam’s confusion he went on to explain. “We haven’t seen each other in a while, let’s catch up. Talk. Like we always used to.” A smile was tugging at Adam’s lips.

“Jesse, I don’t know where I’d be without you. Homeless probably.” Adam chuckled, shifting in his chair to face Jesse. “So, how’s everything been?”

“Good. Working, practicing and relaxing. It’s been nice having this time off, though I’ll admit we were all a little pissed at you before the reveal.”

“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t change a thing about it.” 

“I wouldn’t ask you to. And what about you? All loved up?” And if Jesse hadn’t seen it with his own two eyes, he would never have believed it happened, but Adam blushed and looked away, refusing to meet his eyes. Making the seemingly cocky rock star look ashamed and bashful.

“Everything is so good. Almost too good. Every second is one to remember, there hasn’t been a wasted moment. Even the days we spend on the sofa watching TV, or the days we don’t even get up from bed.” The smile on Adam’s face was one of a truly happy man. “Damn it Jesse, I am so in love it hurts. I’ve never felt love like this before.”

“Never been this cheesy either.” Adam blushed an even darker shade at Jesse’s teasing.

“What can I say? He’s changing me Jesse.”

“And it’s all for the better.” Jesse pulled Adam into a hug, holding him close. “You two bring out the good in each other, I’m so happy that you guys finally woke up and saw how in love you are.”

“I definitely see it now. How it took me so long to realise it’s what we both wanted I don’t think I’ll ever know.” 

“The finale looked good, you two managed to sneak a few kisses in. Me and the boys were watching from backstage.” Jesse told him.

“I can’t resist, and now that people know there is zero reason for not kissing him every now and again.” Adam laughed. “Did you see his face after Luke Bryan performed? He was so happy, those two are good friends and I loved seeing Blake’s smile, just had to kiss him.”

“A little jealous?” Jesse questioned, he was only teasing and knows that he’s never been the overly jealous type, not without food reason.

“Not of those two idiots.” Adam shook his head with a smile. “Let’s face it, I’m a pretty overly-friendly guy and so is Blake, if we’re gunna get hung up on little things like that then we’ll never stop fighting. I trust Blake, and I guess he trusts me.”

“I think Adam is all grown up!” Jesse feigned shock, clutching at his chest, although the laughter from both him and Adam made the mood so much lighter.

“Excuse me, Mr Levine?” Adam turned to see a nurse stood beside him, her face completely expressionless. 

“Yeah, that’s me.” He replied, the way her lips turned up just a tiny bit would suggest that she knew that already.

“Mr Shelton is out of surgery now.” Adam let out a sigh of relief before preparing to ask the question he almost feared the answer to.

“And, urm, how is he?” He wanted to look away and pretend she wasn’t there and they weren’t in the hospital and that there is no danger looming over Blake’s head, instead he met her eyes, his own pleading with her. The world seemed to slow as she took a breath to deliver the news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are finally getting somewhere :'D  
> Hope you liked this chapter, please comment and let me know what you thought and if there I anything you'd like to see :)  
> Love you all XD x


	20. Chapter 20

“Mr Shelton is doing fine, he’s not woken up but he should do so within the next hour. If you’d like to stay with him in his room then that’s fine, however if the doctor’s ask you to leave we need you to do so. Additionally, we’d usually keep a patient in the ICU, but because of Mr Shelton’s status we believe it’s better for him to stay in a private room.” She explained. 

“That sounds absolutely brilliant! Thank you!” Adam jumped to his feet, nearly knocking over the table if it wasn’t for Jesse who held it down. 

“Would you like me to show you the way?” By this point Adam could only manage a nod, he needed to see Blake. Jesse decided it would be best if he tagged along, the silence would kill Adam, so even if it’s not the voice he’d like to hear Jesse thinks it’s a whole lot better than an obnoxious silence. “Okay, this one is his room.” She gestured to a room that was set apart from all the others, blinds closed so that you couldn’t see in. “If there is a problem, the nurse’s lounge is second on the left and there is a call button in the room. The bright orange one. I’ll leave you guys alone.” It was Adam who went in first, faltering a little at the door.

“Hey Blake.” He greeted to the still body, the only reminder he was alive being the steady beeping of the machines and the rise and fall of his chest. “Told you it’d be okay.” Adam pulled the chair as close as he could, taking Blake’s hand in his own and just holding it.

“You want a coffee or anything Adam?” Jesse asked, giving his friend the chance to have some privacy.

“I’d actually rather you just stayed here.” Adam’s voice was quiet, his eyes glued to Blake.

“You got it buddy.” Jesse smiled, taking the seat on the other side of Blake. “He always this still?”

“Not all the time, but when he’s really knocked out then yeah, he can sleep like the dead.” There was a far-off look in his eyes and a dreamy smile on Adam’s face whenever he talked about Blake, and Jesse had never been happier for two people. In the past he had doubted if Adam would ever really settle down. “He can stay still though, he does when he’s hunting. You have to stay still for hours. And sometimes I actually forget he’s even awake.”

“How he puts up with your squirmy ass I don’t know!” Jesse laughed.

“Blake loves my ass, thank you very much.” Adam argued, a playful smile on his face, one that dimmed slightly when he looked back to Blake. “But I don’t think I’ll be able to really calm down until he’s awake, you know? Not even for long, just say a couple of words and he can go back to dreamland.”

“I know Adam, but he’s okay here and in the best hands.” And Jesse wasn’t entirely sure if he was talking about Adam or the Doctors, but really both fit. “You can finally start relaxing. But I get it.”

“You know, when his family came round I was a mess.” Adam was jumping from topic to topic, but Jesse had grown used to that side of his friend and when he’s in stressful situations it only gets worse. “I couldn’t sit still for long at all. I was so fucking scared, you know, because he’s this southern charmer, not exactly known for acceptance of gay people.”

“You aren’t gay though.” Jesse pointed out.

“It’s all the same to them.” Adam sighed. “But, Blake noticed you know, didn’t just see my usually squirminess but just knew I was worked up about something. Not many people care enough, or notice at all.” 

“Adam, you really hit the jackpot with this one. He’s perfect for you and you’re perfect for him.” Jesse assured him, he knows Adam has a lot of esteem issues, especially when it comes to relationships with the way all his past ones have ended and all the rumours that spread like wildfire. Sometimes he just needs reassuring, and if this thing with Blake is going to last, then he’ll need to hear it from a lot of people before truly feeling confident.

“I know.” There was silence for a while, Jesse noticed how Adam was tapping out a beat, humming under his breath. “Rest in pieces peace of mind, one day we will reunite.” He sang softly, barely even singing, the borderline between singing and just talking.

“What was that?” Jesse recognised it, sparking something in the back of his mind.

“The Neighbourhood.” Adam said simply, still tapping along to the song he was playing in his head.

“Of course.” 

“How long till he wakes up Jesse?” Adam asked after another period of silence.

“Who knows Ad, everyone responds differently to anaesthetic. Could be minutes, hours or in rare cases days.” It wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but Jesse had always been one for truth instead of lies.

“Damn it. Blake, wake the fuck up you asshole. I want one kiss. Is that too much to ask for?” Adam exclaimed, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

“It is actually.” Blake’s voice was a little raspy, but it still had Adam smiling like a fool.

“You want a drink or something? More pain medicine?” Adam reeled off a load of things that Blake might possibly want or need.

“A drink would be great.” It was in his hands before the sentence was finished, a sleepy looking smile on his face as he drank it down greedily. “Now I’ll take that kiss.” His voice was a little more like himself, and Adam couldn’t deny him a kiss, leaning down and meeting him in a slow, love-fuelled kiss.

“You should sleep.” Adam suggested, although he seemed more than happy with their current activities.

“You know, I dreamt about you.” Blake smiled, pulling Adam back in for a kiss. “It was a little strange.”

“You can tell me all about it tomorrow Blakey, you need to sleep now.”

“Fine.” Blake yawned lying back down again. “You’ll stay?”

“Yeah, dumbass. I stayed here all day, I’ll stay here all night unless they remove me by force.” Adam promised, meeting Jesse’s eye and giving him the look that always has him on edge. Because Adam really meant that, and the last thing they need is more publicity surrounding this thing.

“You know, I’ll go talk to the nurse right now and see if we can sort something out.” He offered, already half way out the door when Adam and Blake murmured their thanks.

“Nice of him to keep you company.” Blake commented.

“Yeah, well, I may have had a little freak out earlier. I worry about you Blake.” Adam admitted, hiding his head under Blake’s arm.

“I worry about you too Adam. That’s understandable, if the situation were reversed I know I’d have done the same. Damn, I’d probably have had my whole family here, plus friends, maybe even the dog.” Adam couldn’t help but laugh.

“Haven’t heard that idiot laugh all day.” Jesse announced from the doorway, making both men jump, they weren’t expecting him back that quickly. “The nurse said the Doctor told them to expect the two of you to stay and that it’s fine, as long as you don’t get in the way or cause any problems.”

“Yes Sir.” Adam gave a mock salute, settling into Blake’s side.

“I’m heading to yours, I’ll let the dogs out, bring you some clothes, pillows and blankets.”

“Thanks man, I owe you one.” Adam sighed a breath of relief, at least someone here was using their brain.

“You don’t owe me anything Adam. You just focus on looking after Blake, and Blake you focus on getting better so this one isn’t on edge all the time.” Blake managed a nod, but he was drifting back to sleep.

“We will Jesse, I promise.” Jesse didn’t need Adam to promise, because he knew those two would look out for each other no matter what. Their love, one so obvious and all-consuming, is one that will endure till the end of time. Nothing and I mean nothing, can break a love like theirs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated this one quickly because of all the comments :P  
> Couldn't keep you guys waiting XD


	21. Chapter 21

It was another two weeks before Blake was back on his feet after all his physiotherapy, no one wanted to push him too far and cause more damage. Adam could finally take him home according to the doctors, the whole time he hadn’t left his side. Only briefly for statements about Blake and to see the boys for half hour periods in the downstairs café so they could record a little bit of stuff and he usually timed that with Blake’s physio or when he was sleeping. Not a lot had happened really, Blake and Adam had spent the time together as close as humanly possible, there wasn’t much choice when they both had to squeeze onto that tiny hospital bed, and talking about nonsensical things. But Adam would be lying if he said he wasn’t eager to get home. Home with Blake.

“Thanks Adam.” This was Blake’s new thing, thanking Adam over and over and over again.

“Blake, I swear, it’s nothing you wouldn’t do for me. And it’s nothing compared to what I’d be willing to do for you.” Adam took a second to glance over from the road to look at Blake, taking in his posture and body language. He’d always been perceptive about these kind of things, particularly when Blake is concerned.

“It means a lot to me Adam.” Blake just wanted Adam to feel appreciated, that voice in the back of his mind is constantly reminding him that Adam is way too good for him, nagging him to be better for him so that Adam won’t want to leave.

“I know. But, really Blake, you don’t need to thank me every 10 minutes. Anyway, have you missed home?” 

“More than you’d believe.” Blake chuckled, the sound warming Adam’s heart. Apparently changing topics had worked, which really isn’t a surprise, both men tend to be easily distracted with their over-active, childish minds.

“I’ve missed it too, a bed big enough for the two of us will be a great change.” Adam laughed with Blake smiling warmly at him, it really was high on the list of things Adam missed and Blake too.

“I dunno, I kinda liked having your body pressed up against mine.” The sweet as honey tone of Blake’s voice brought a blush to Adam’s cheeks, his mind instantly filling with R-rated images. “I can’t wait until I’m all better, then I can show you just how much I love you. I suppose until then I can always use my hands.” Adam practically choked at this point, for a brief second losing control over the car, yet he quickly regained composure.

“No. Stop.” Adam ordered, fixing his eyes on the road and refusing to turn to look at the Cowboy who had stolen his heart, which was currently racing in his chest.

“What’s up Adam?” He was feigning innocence, but both knew it was a wasted effort, neither of them were naïve to this kind of teasing.

“Shut it Blake, so not in the mood for this right now. Or even for the next week or two. Because I need to control myself.” Adam’s voice was strained, the effort going into staying in control painfully clear and Blake felt a pang of guilt spark through his chest because this was all for him. The Doctor had made I clear that any sort of exercise (and he even named sex much to their dismay) wouldn’t help Blake recover, he needed two weeks of ease and slowly building up the amount of exercise he was doing.

“Alright Adam.” Blake sighed, leaning back in his chair and gazing out the window instead. “I hadn’t thought about it like that, sorry.”

“You just didn’t think Blake. I’m sure you’re just as desperate as I am.” Adam made sure he sent Blake a warm and love filled smile, although he couldn’t look long enough to see if Blake returned the smile but he’s sure he did.

“You got that right Rock Star, have you seen yourself? You are a walking sex god!” Blake exclaimed, making Adam laugh, soon enough the two of them were in hysterics. Almost doubled over they were laughing so hard. Which really wasn’t too great for Adam’s driving, and he’s fairly sure he must have received a few tickets in this journey.

“I think that might be an exaggeration.” Adam muttered. “What about you? Damn it man, you’re like the perfect man. You are my hunky cowboy, you’re even practical!”

“Not just a pretty face. You can be the one who smiles and looks all pretty, and I’ll be behind the scenes doing all the hard work.” Blake decided, sounding almost excited about this development in their relationship.

“Sure Blake, but only because I don’t want to share how beautiful you are with the rest of the world.”

“Me? Beautiful? Have you been stealing my pain meds?”

“Shut it Blakey. I mean it, you may not believe it but I do.”

“That’s all that matters to me. I guess.” Blake sighed, silence falling onto the car, but not the uncomfortable kind. The drive felt unnaturally long, both of them just needed that feeling of home and were just about ready to collapse on the sofa when they finally did walk through the door. “You kept this place clean.” Blake noted with a small, surprised smile.

“Jesse and the boys.” Adam corrected. “Don’t you remember? I’ve been at the hospital as long as you have.”

“Nope, tried to black out the annoying bits.” Blake teased, Adam opened his mouth for a sarcastic comment, instead yawning and remembering how wiped out he felt.

“You know, just be glad I need sleep because otherwise you’d so get it for that little quip.” Adam mumbled, throwing his coat in the general direction of the hooks and toeing his shoes off in the same direction.

“Bed already?” 

“Yes. I’m about to collapse Blake.” Adam snapped, a little irritated at Blake, not for any reason in particular, honestly it was more because he was so tired and Blake just happened to be on the receiving end.

“Alright then Grumpy, let’s go.” Blake wrapped his arms round Adam’s slim figure, usually he’d lift him but he knows that Adam would have a fit if he did that so soon after surgery. Instead he just kept his body close to his, walking to the bedroom together. He couldn’t help slipping a hand beneath Adam’s shirt, running his calloused fingers over toned skin.

“Blake.” Adam whined.

“Just let me touch.” Blake pouted, his hand still exploring the flat expanse of skin, when Adam didn’t complain another hand slipped beneath the cotton shirt, gripping at hips and running softly over the skin. And when Adam let out breathy moans, so quiet they were barely there, Blake may have smiled proudly but he didn’t say anything about it. Mostly because that would have been a sure fire way to piss Adam off resulting in the banning of all physical contact – a punishment Blake was in no way ready to deal with. 

“Stop Blake.” Adam finally pulled away when Blake’s hands were getting a little too enthusiastic. “I meant it. We are behaving ourselves.”

“What if I don’t want to?” Blake complained, looking a little like a kicked puppy, Adam just had to look away before that look made him have a change of heart.

“I really don’t care. Doctor’s orders. Don’t make me take a guest room.” It was the final threat that convinced Blake to behave himself. No way could he take a night away from Adam, having Adam without any of the sex is hard enough, but without contact at all. Damn near impossible. 

“Alright. I’ll behave.” Blake agreed, not missing Adam’s smug smile as he undressed and clambered into the bed, pulling the covers right up to his chin so quickly that Blake hardly got a chance to look, receiving only a flash of toned and colourful skin.

“You better Mr.” Adam warned, although he didn’t look threatening at all the way the top of his head was peeking out, Blake was struggling to keep a straight face as he too undressed and joined his lover under the sheets.

“How I wish this was under different circumstances.” Blake sighed, pulling Adam’s body closer to his.

“Blake.” The tone was warning, but Blake knows that Adam likes the cuddling, as much as he complains about being the small spoon, it’s just how everything works and if it wasn’t for the unusually high sexual tension then nothing would have been said at all.

“I know Rock Star. Goodnight.” A small kiss was pressed to Adam’s neck, causing a content smile to appear on his face as he moved back into the loving touch, a look that was mirrored on Blake’s own face.

“Goodnight Cowboy. Love you.”

“You too.”


	22. Chapter 22

Adam woke up slowly that day, the warm bed was just too comfortable to leave, the sound of birds and Blake’s soft breathing added to the perfection of the morning. It was the knocking on the door that forced him to get up, and if it wasn’t for the dogs barking at the door he probably would have ignored that too. He didn’t bother putting any thought into what he was wearing, instead picking up the first things he found and shrugging them on. The lock on the door proved to be a challenge that early in the morning, although if Adam had decided to check the time he would have found that it was 10:30 and he and Blake should really be up anyway. 

“Morning!” Dorothy chirped happily, it had completely slipped Adam’s mind that they were coming down. It obviously made sense, they wanted to check on their son after his surgery but after a persuasive argument from Adam they had decided to wait until he was released.

“Hi guys, Blake is still asleep. But, please, feel free to come in.” Adam stepped back to let them in and was little shocked at exactly who was there. Dorothy, Richard and Endy were expected, he was in no way prepared for Luke Bryan or Miranda to show up too, along with who would appear to be other extended family. After seeing how flawless Miranda looked, most likely without trying Adam thought bitterly, he couldn’t help but criticise his own outfit. He was wearing an old shirt of Blake’s that was massively too big and worn in way too many places, his jeans were old and out of style, the small rips had grown into small holes and he didn’t even want to think about his hair.

“The oaf is still asleep?” Miranda laughed, all fond and happy as she glanced up the stairs. They were staying at Blake’s place, the two haven’t even started thinking about where they’ll make their base but Blake needed home comfort after his operation, it had seemed natural. They always ended up here more than they did Adam’s place anyway so it just became home to them.

“Yeah.” Adam answered awkwardly after clearing his throat and standing awkwardly in the doorway. “I’ll just go and wake him up.” He took the stairs two at a time, desperate to get away from them all. The only person who had noticed just how flustered he was had been Endy, she never misses these things. She was pretty sure Miranda being here was a ploy planned by her father, but she wouldn’t say anything. The love between Blake and Adam is pretty unbreakable. “Blake. Blake? Wake up you idiot.”

“I’m up.” Blake mumbled, moving to sit up. “Who’s at the door?”

“Blake. Holy shit. There are so many people.” Adam whispered. “Dorothy, Richard, End-” The rest of the list was cut off when Blake pressed his lips against Adam’s, in an effort to break away to finish letting Blake know who was here Adam leant back. But Blake wasn’t having that, he chased those perfect lips, unfortunately knocking Adam off balance who in turn gripped onto Blake’s arms. “Ooof!” The air was forced from Adam’s lungs as he smacked against the floor, but the anger was soon replaced with Blake. Just Blake. Who had fallen on top of him and was pressing desperate kisses to Adam’s neck and moving back to his lips when he thought he’d had enough air. The bang had sounded louder from downstairs, echoing through the rooms, they all shared a look before racing up the stairs fearing Blake had slipped and fell.

“Blake?” Endy asked.

“Are you alright?” Miranda ran in alongside her, those two being the ones who rushed the most. They were all shocked by what they saw, expect for Endy of course. Blake hovering above Adam, who was clearly flustered, his cheeks flushing an even darker red with the embarrassment of the moment.

“Ran?” Blake was clearly thrown.

“That’s what I was trying to tell you!” Adam exclaimed, his voice a little funny, but thankfully no one brought that up. Him speaking seemed to remind Blake about the compromising position they were in, after a quick glance Blake pushed himself backwards before climbing to his feet, leaving Adam to do the same.

“What are you guys doing here?” Blake asked, looking at the group of people gathered in the doorway, some of whom were giving Adam some fairly dirty looks that if Blake had taken the time to notice would have caused some arguments.

“Wanted to see our buddy after his surgery.” Luke answered, all southern twang and pure country boy, Blake was already smiling away.

“What a sight for sore eyes!” Blake chuckled, Adam wouldn’t lie, he felt a little unappreciated in that moment. After all, Blake scrambled away and left him straight away for Luke, not to mention the disapproving looks from Blake’s parents. “You guys want a coffee or something?” They all walked down together, Adam was still stood in the same spot feeling a little sorry for himself and more than a little left out. He decided to have a quick shower, just so he had an excuse for not following them down and he even made an effort with his outfit. Something Blake likes and doesn’t look dumb, especially if he was stood next to someone like Miranda.

“That was the biggest buck I’d ever seen!” Miranda laughed, resting her hand on Blake’s arm who seemed not to notice as he laughed along with her.

“I dunno, I’ve seen some big ones. But it’s the biggest I’ve taken down for sure. That was a great day.” Adam couldn’t help but grimace, he was not a fan of hunting and Blake knew it, but now he had all these people to reminisce with. There wasn’t even enough room for Adam to sit down, usually he’d have no qualms plopping himself down on Blake’s lap, but with Miranda so close it felt wrong.

“You put it up on the wall in the ranch?” Luke asked.

“Nah, it was up in the bedroom but Adam didn’t like it.” Blake shrugged, at that point everyone looked at Adam who was loitering in the doorway with the coffee he had to make himself.

“Why?” They seemed shocked, Dorothy and Richard that is, more Richard really.

“Because that’s an innocent creature you killed for sport. Why would I want a dead thing staring at me?” He didn’t mention the creepy sex part of it, but he kinda hoped that went unsaid.

“You look nice.” Blake commented, Adam was about to smile when he opened his mouth to speak again. “Where you going?”

“What?”

“I mean, you wouldn’t wear that ‘round the house, so you must be heading out.” Blake continued.

“Oh must I? Don’t forget to take your stupid tablets.” Adam snapped, before slamming his way out of the house. He didn’t get far, just the little bench on the porch before he sat down and dropped his head into his hands. Blake hadn’t followed after him, Adam could hear his Cowboy’s bellowing laughter from where he was. So when someone sat down beside him he nearly had a heart attack.

“Calm down there.” Endy laughed. “You seem a little on edge today.” 

“Ha. I just wasn’t expecting you all.” Adam answered, but Endy saw straight through it.

“I think you mean Miranda.” Adam’s head shot up.

“Is it obvious?” He sounded so traumatised that it broke Endy’s heart.

“No, not to those idiots anyway.” Adam was clearly relieved by this news. “He loves you Adam, he just enjoys spending time with those guys.”

“People who enjoy the same things as him you mean.” Even Adam could hear how bitter he sounded, but he really didn’t care enough to change it.

“Blake really would give up everything for you Adam, he loves you so much. I can see it when he looks at you, the way he talks about you; he is madly in love with you.” At some point Adam had started crying, Endy pulled him into a hug without even thinking.

“I can’t help but think that he’s sacrificing too much to be with me, that he isn’t able to be himself.”

“Blake doesn’t change for anyone, not unless it’s something he’s thought about too. He wouldn’t do it out of love alone, although, with the way he loves you I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“Those two are still so close. He’ll see the mistake he’s made.” Adam sniffed.

“No. Because there was no mistake, he doesn’t play with people’s hearts like that Adam. Maybe now he’s acting a bit like a dick, but he wouldn’t break you like that.” Endy assured him, although she couldn’t help but doubt her words a little. “How about me and you go get a coffee and sit in the kitchen and talk?”

“Then he’ll see I’ve been crying. I’ll look stupid.” Adam hurriedly wiped at his face, only making his cheeks wetter.

“You’ll look like you care Adam.”

“I just. I looked after him. I was there. I didn’t leave the hospital, even though I needed to. I refused. And they walk in and I was forgotten.” Another tear trickled down his face, Endy could only muster a sad smile.

“He did throw you away like an old toy.” She conceded, realising immediately it was the wrong thing to say when the chocked sobbing noise escaped Adam’s mouth. “I didn’t mean it like that Adam, he really does love you.” Endy pulled him to his feet, it must have been quite a sight, the small figure of Endy towing along Adam’s. He was still crying, although silently every now and again there’d be a sad gasping noise as he took in oxygen. 

“I can’t go in.” Adam mumbled, trying to pull away as they approached the living room door, the sound of talking and laughter was loud and clear, Adam felt out of place and unwanted once again. 

“We are going to the kitchen Adam.” Endy ordered, pulling the crying man through the room and although conversation dulled it didn’t fall silent. What’s more, Blake didn’t follow them into the kitchen and when Adam took the first sip of coffee it all fell apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with this!  
> Let me know what you think :)


	23. Chapter 23

He was a mess, Endy could see him trying to keep it under control, but after one sip of coffee his calm façade fell apart. Broken, heaving sobs escaped his mouth, he stumbled to his feet and returned with a bottle of tequila much to Endy’s despair.

“Adam, please, he’s just busy talking.” Endy tried, but it only made him cry more.

“He doesn’t care anymore. Compared to them I am unimportant, that’s the vibe I’ve had all morning. I’ve brushed everyone off for him, haven’t visited my Mum in a good two months, have barely spent any time out without him. And he can’t do this.” Adam began unscrewing the tequila before muttering about class and wandering off.

“BLAKE!” Endy shouted, finally seeing there was no way out of this. She didn’t want to leave Adam alone, not to get drunk so since he was out of the room she grabbed the tequila and went to get Blake herself. Blake who hadn’t even moved. But Miranda had. She was practically sat in his lap.

“That’s Adam’s tequila, he’ll blow a fuse if he sees you with that.” Blake chuckled.

“Don’t you dare talk about him like that when you have her sat in your lap.” Endy spat. His confusion just made her angrier. “You really don’t know what you’ve done?”

“No.” He answered with a quiet voice, Adam had appeared by her side.

“Please, Endy just leave it.” He begged, trying to grab the tequila. “Just give me the bottle and let me go.” He pleaded, his voice broken.

“Adam you are not getting drunk over this ass.” Endy decided before turning back to her brother. “He was shit scared Blake. You’re ex-wife shows up and suddenly he’s cast to the side as you two reminisce. He wanted to look good for you, because in his mind Miranda looks better, so he tried and you brushed him off. He stormed off and you just fucking left him. He was traumatised Blake. Hysterical. And when I finally coax him inside for some coffee you didn’t notice that he was still bloody crying! He broke down Blake because you left him alone. He’s left out and you made no effort to include him.” Blake just stared at her in shock.

“Can I have the tequila now?” Adam asked quietly, the looks from the people in the room making him uncomfortable.

“Are you going to say anything or just stare?” Endy challenged and Blake was floundering.

“It’s not his fault, I’m just needy. I think I’ll head to the studio downstairs.” Adam’s voice was so defeated, so small and helpless it finally pushed a reaction out of Blake.

“Adam, please stop!”

“No, you guys talk. I’ll be here tomorrow.”

“Adam, damn it, I just didn’t think.”

“Seems to be a recurring thing with you right now.” The venom in Adam’s voice wasn’t all that convincing or terrifying.

“Please, let’s not do this. I am sorry Adam, you’re right. I’m being a dick. I should be closer to you, more considerate because you’ve been nothing but caring. Nothing but perfect.” Blake was on his feet and approaching Adam. “I should have thought and I really do want to make it up to you.”

“Blake, I felt used! You forgot about me as soon as they showed up.” 

“I didn’t mean it! Let me make this better.” Blake pulled Adam close, the smaller man had planned to remain angry and to push him away, but with those big warm arms around him he just melted into the warmth. “Adam, I never meant to make you feel this way. I was surprised, off guard and I was stupid.”

“Blake.” It came out as a broken sob.

“Baby, I am so sorry. Find it somewhere in your heart to forgive me, please?”

“Always. Even when I shouldn’t.”

“I love you, I love you so much Adam.” Blake pulled him up into his arms pressing kisses to his face, peppering those kisses all over until a small smile appeared on Adam’s face. “That’s what I want to see. And I promise I’ll pay more attention, so I can see this more often.”

“Blake.” Adam chuckled, trying to push himself away as Blake nuzzled into his neck, Blake could still tell that it was bothering him though. 

“I’m going to make it up to you.” Blake promised, kissing him again and Adam opened his mouth to protest, try and convince Blake to stop, but Blake took it as an opportunity to deepen the kiss. No one else mattered to either of them, getting lost in the kiss, Blake even eliciting a moan from Adam. There were wandering hands and breathy moans, and maybe a little grinding going on.

“Guys, get a room.” Endy laughed. “You two really can’t stay mad at each other.”

“Oh, Adam can hold a grudge alright. I’ll be working hard for a good few weeks to make this up to him.” Blake made to take them upstairs, but this time Adam held his ground.

“Doctor said no Blake.” Adam reminded him.

“Adam.” Blake whined with his best pouty puppy-dog face.

“No means no Blake. If you have to force it it’s rape.” 

“You should do the next ad for them with their slogans memorised like that.” Blake sighed, Adam knew it meant he’d given in. “Come on then, you can sit right here.” When Blake sat down he pulled Adam into his lap, manhandling him into a better position. “Let’s start over. And this time, let’s do this thing right.”

 

 

Luke and Miranda left after dinner, with Blake’s help and careful inclusion of Adam, Adam soon found himself liking the two of them. Miranda seemed to have moved on, instead being two close friends rather than lovers but the comfort of each other’s company remained, albeit dimmed. And Luke, well, Adam can see why he’s loved by people all around the world.

“Now, you can come and blind me with that smile any day.” Adam chuckled as Luke was leaving.

“Might just take you up on that, you boys should come down the ranch one weekend. See if we can get ya’ huntin’ at all.”

“No way am I killing Bambi’s mother. Not any day.” Adam stood resolute, they’d tried convincing him all day, not Blake though. He’d tried before, when Adam believes in something like that he’ll stick by it till the end. 

“I wouldn’t have him any other way.” Blake announced, resting his hand on Adam’s shoulder. Once Luke was gone Adam nearly collapsed into Blake’s arms.

“Can we go to bed now? I’m wiped out.”

“Let me deal with my parents and I’ll meet you up there.” Blake promised, another quick kiss and he headed back into the living room as Adam trudged up the stairs. The day had been a drag for him, an emotional rollercoaster to say the least and falling into bed was the only thing on his agenda. He didn’t even bother with clothes. “You not getting undressed?” Blake’s voice was full of love, the fond smile on his face went unnoticed by Adam.

“Yeah.” The sound was muffled since his face was covered by the pillow.

“You’ll complain tomorrow.” Blake warned, but he was already pulling off Adam’s socks and Adam was so tired he was putting up no fight at all and only offering a little help. “You wanna help me out a little?” Blake could only chuckle at Adam who just sort of grunted into the pillow. “Come on baby, can you at least lift your hips?”

“I hate you.” Adam groaned, but did as asked anyway.

“I’m sure you do Rock Star.”

“I really do Cowboy.” He was starting to make more of an effort to help now, although still hadn’t opened his eyes much to Blake’s amusement. It took longer than it would have if Adam had done it himself, but Blake felt like he’d really achieved something when he removed the last piece of clothing and had Adam under the sheets. Not long later Blake was climbing in beside him, pulling Adam close and pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder, only receiving a small hum from his nearly asleep lover. But it was something. And after Blake’s little mishap earlier in the day that little something was more than enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long wait! Been a little distracted recently! Hope you enjoy it :) Let me know what you think!!


	24. Chapter 24

“I never did ask, what did you dream about when you were having your surgery?” Adam asked suddenly, Blake’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion before he let out a breathy chuckle.

“You.”

“I know that, dumbass. But what?” Blake could tell Adam wasn’t going to drop this, he had kind of hoped he had forgotten because Blake was a little embarrassed.

“You sure you want to know? It’s really boring.” Blake turned away, making a show of drying the dishes.

“Please, Blake.” The hopeful tone to Adam’s voice had Blake crumbling, there was no way he could deny Adam.

“Fine. It was me and you, and we were, um, we were married.” Blake refused to look at Adam out of sheer embarrassment, after all he knew Adam’s opinion on marriage. “And we were living in some big fancy house somewhere, there were puppies running around and party balloons everywhere. And I could hear kids laughing, we went outside and you had your little hand nestled in mine, there was a big bouncy castle and a climbing frame, a little trampoline tucked behind a corner.” He risked a quick glance, Adam was looking at him intently, seeming to hang on every word. “Then this little kid ran up to us, I’ll never forget his words. ‘Daddy, Papa even got a bouncy castle!’ The kid practically squealed and he wrapped himself round your legs. You kinda chuckled and asked him if he’d show you, gave me a quick kiss and then you were tugged away from me.”

“Wow.” Adam gasped.

“Oh that’s not all.” Blake sighed, picking up another plate to distract himself further. “I found a little table and sat down, there were a bunch of other people milling around and I had sat with the boys. Jesse was asking about how the kids were doing. If they were more like you or me. Picked up our bad habits. Then this adorable little girl ran up to us, she was so cute Adam. She sat down on my lap and snuggled into my chest. I was a little confused at first and then she started saying how you had chased her and now she was tired. So she wanted Papa to take her to bed. It was so real Adam.” Blake finished lamely.

“That’s-“

“Cheesy. Stupid.” Blake suggested, preferring to insult himself than have Adam do it.

“No you idiot, lovely. That sounded lovely.” Adam smiled sweetly, his eyes glowing with love and a little amusement when he saw Blake’s face. “You are so dumb, I’d love a family with you Blake.”

“Really?”

“Duh!” Adam laughed, pulling Blake into a hug. “I just didn’t know how to bring it up.”

“You mean, you’d seriously consider doing this?”

“I looked into adoption.” Adam admitted, burying his face into Blake’s shirt. “I wanted to know everything I could so I could create a convincing argument.” He smiled sheepishly at Blake, before pressing his face against his chest again.

“Consider me convinced.” Blake felt like it was all too good to be true. Everything was falling into place for them.

“After my world tour we can look at it properly. We can talk about when we’d be around, if we want to adopt a baby. A boy or a girl. When. Where.” Adam listed, he really had done his research and damn it showed. 

“Damn it I love you.” Blake gasped, pulling Adam in for a heated kiss.

“And I love you.” Adam chuckled, pulling away from the kiss. His cheeks had an adorable little blush that had Blake’s heart beating faster, his eyes a shade darker. “But the doctor said-“ Adam couldn’t finish his sentence because Blake crashed his lips against his a little more forcefully, a little more desperately as he explored his lover’s mouth. Only pulling away to breathe quickly, smiling a little as Adam gasped desperately for air and clung on to his shirt.

“I can’t not have you Adam. Please, I’m going crazy.” The words rolled off his tongue in such a way that Adam couldn’t deny him, his own erection begged for attention and Blake’s eyes were so full of desperation, hope and love (with a little lust thrown in) that any lingering doubts were forgotten. He pulled Blake closer, his arms wrapping round his neck and their lips meeting in the middle, Adam jumped up and got his legs around Blake’s middle, enjoying the way Blake’s chuckle made his chest rumble.

“What’s so funny Cowboy?” He panted, pulling away whilst Blake tackled the stairs. They’ve learnt from experience that it’s not great to be distracted when walking up, or down, the stairs, Blake’s bruised back was evidence of that. It had been a fun one to explain to the producers.

“Nothing in particular.” Blake shrugged. “Just you.” Before Adam could come up with some smart ass response he was pushed against the wall and met with Blake’s lips. As soon as they returned to their near worshipping of each other all other thoughts were forgotten, it was just them.

 

 

“I’m heading out babe.” Adam informed Blake, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek.

“Out? Where?” Adam had been glued to his phone for the past hour, Blake was supposed to be writing lyrics for his new stuff (no word from the label yet, although Adam’s been trying to keep Blake away from all that) which turned into him watching Adam.

“Just, urm, meeting up with the guys.” He shrugged, the answer took too long and there was a nervous gleam in his eyes. Part of Blake wanted to question him, to shout about being open and truthful, instead he nodded and forced a smile onto his face.

“Okay, I’ll see you later Sweetheart.”

“I’ll text you, and I’ll bring home dinner.” Adam promised, it sounded a little like bargaining, but they were both in denial so ignored it.

“Sounds nice.” The house was ominously silent after the door clicked shut, Blake had half a mind to follow Adam, he’d been acting weird all day if he really thought about it. But he had to trust Adam, after all the shit he’d put him through Blake decided he had earned that at least, Adam has a free pass. Leaving Blake to sit here and worry every second Adam’s gone, leaving his imagination running a mile a minute with worst case scenarios.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while, struggling with writer's block. Hopefully I'll be back on track soon!!


	25. Chapter 25

“Blake, please just let me in.” Adam begged.

“Go away Adam. I need to be alone.” Blake called back, trying to stifle the tears. He’d locked himself in the studio since he heard that conversation. He couldn’t bear thinking it could be true. That Adam was cheating. He would never do that. He wasn’t the person the media painted him to be. Or was he? Blake was questioning everything he thought he knew.

“Blake.” It was such a hopeless sound, so desperate and sad that Blake almost unlocked the door. “I love you.” Then he was reminded why the door was locked. Why he couldn’t look at Adam right now.

“Leave Adam. I’m not coming out and you’re not coming in.” Blake replied angrily through his tears, he heard Adam sigh and walk away. As Adam started heading up the stairs he heard Blake’s sobbing, the hysterical crying of his boyfriend was like a knife stabbing into him repeatedly. The knowledge it was something he did hurt even more.

“I’m sorry Blake.” Adam sighed, wiping away a tear of his own. Blake wouldn’t listen to him, he felt lost and helpless so he grabbed his phone and called Jesse.

 

\- FLASHBACK -

Adam had still been acting weird and Blake didn’t like it, he was dragged to the mall by said Rock Star which isn’t overly unusual or upsetting. What was upsetting was the young and attractive girl that ran out of the shop she worked at and threw herself at Adam, again that in itself happens a lot, but they don’t usually get hugged back.

“Hey Sweetheart.” Adam laughed, an endearment Blake had thought was used only for him.

“Hey Babes.” He kind of felt as if he was interrupting a private moment and that hurt, he’d never seen this girl in his life and yet those two seem incredibly close now. “That stuff you ordered is here.” And she winked. WINKED. At Blake’s boyfriend. With Blake stood right there. And Adam. Well. He fucking smiled and did his cute little chuckle and KISSED HER ON THE CHEEK. 

“Brilliant. How about I pop round tomorrow night to pick it up?”

“You can come tonight?” She offered, Blake was losing it. Were they organising a date with him there?

“Busy tonight with Cowboy, tomorrow though. I promise.”

“Don’t forget Ads. And call me.” She gave a wave and bounced back to her shop, leaving Blake staring at Adam with a gaping mouth.

“Who’s she?” Blake asked when Adam carried on walking like he wasn’t flirting with her just then.

“Juliet. She’s great right?” Blake could only hum in approval, half believing he was in some sort of fucked up dream because this was all too weird. “Don’t let me forget to call her, she’ll castrate me.” Adam chuckled and Blake suddenly felt real sick.

\- END FLASHBACK -

 

He had somehow managed to push that to the side, maybe Adam was just overly friendly. It happens sometimes. And Blake was already a little suspicious, so maybe he was just over-analysing it. At least that’s what he was willing to believe. But, he’d come home early today after a meeting with his label, Adam wasn’t expecting him back for another hour at least, he was ready to sneak up on his gorgeous little boyfriend and kiss him until his lips hurt. Instead he had his heart shattered for the second time in as many days.

“Juliet, I freaking love you.” He said seriously, then laughing at something she must have said. “I mean it Jules. That big oaf hasn’t even caught on.” And that was worse than a bullet to the brain. A broken noise had escaped Blake’s mouth as he rushed to his one sanctuary; the studio. Which brings us back to right now. With Blake breaking down in the studio and Adam freaking out upstairs.

“Explain this again?” Jesse asked in exasperation.

“Blake thinks I’m cheating on him. I’m not Jesse. I swear it.” Adam was hysterical, not in the same way as Blake, that’s not always how it goes. He was breathing heavy, each breath made it feel like there were razors dragging up and down his throat, he was talking too fast and couldn’t keep still.

“I know Adam. Calm down. Deep breaths.”

“It hurts.” Adam whimpered.

“What hurts? Breathing or the situation?”

“Everything.” 

“I’m coming.” If Jesse’s learnt one thing it’s that Adam should never be alone when he’s like this, never. One time he’d taken an overdose, just after Jane left he was the normal hysterical – tears and screaming. After a few days, it was this. Just her name would spark a ‘breakdown’. That night had been what would have been their two year anniversary. Another time he’d got himself so worked up that he’d passed out and given everyone a scare.

 

Blake wasn’t much better. He was crying so much his breathing came as laboured gasps, his chest ached, everything hurt because this love that meant so much to him was just a game to Adam. Apparently the media was right, he was an egotistical asshole intent on conquering as many celebrities as possible and Blake was just another name on the list.

“How could he?” He asked no one in particular, he had no one to call for support. His family, apart from Endy, would throw it back in his face. Miranda had caused enough trouble and Blake wouldn’t try and drag her back into his mess of a life. Luke was a possibility, but they weren’t that type of friend. Truth is that Blake relied solely on Adam. Adam was his everything. So he called the next best thing. Carson.

“Blake? You okay?” Carson’s voice was filled with concern that only increased after hearing the condition of his friend.

“He. He. Cheated on me.” Blake was choking on the words, choking on the tears and choking on the heartbreak.

“Who? Adam?” He sounded so shocked, sounded so surprised that Adam would do this. So was Blake.

“He was on the phone to her. Told her he loved her and I was a big oaf who hadn’t caught on.” Blake continued to sob. “They fucking flirted in front of me in the store. I was right there!” There was a moment when his anger had him forgetting the heartbreak, but it was fleeting and gone in the blink of an eye.

“Have you spoken to him?” 

“I can’t.” Blake forced the words out. “I don’t even want to look at him. I’m locked in the studio.”

“That fucking idiot.” Carson was obviously irritated, maybe even a little angry. After all, it was obvious how perfect for each other they were, so for them to mess it up, well, it’s a little disheartening. “There might be more to this than you think.” He added in a quiet voice, almost as if he wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to say.

“What? What is that supposed to mean?” Blake’s voice had a lazy anger to it, he was so exhausted and overwhelmed by the heartbreak it was difficult to put much venom or force in anything.

“Just. Nothing Blake. You’ll need to talk to him eventually.” He sighed.

“I don’t want to.” Blake sounded like a petulant child and he knew it, but really he couldn’t bring himself to care all that much.

“You need to Blake. Look, I’m coming over. Just, don’t do anything stupid.” Those last words were a plea, he’s been friends with Adam a long time and he knows just how bad it gets at these times. He would hate that to happen to Blake, hate it, and he’d blame himself too. The fact they were required at all put a lump in his throat, the fact that Blake didn’t speak but a lump in his throat. All Carson received was a half-hearted hum of approval and a dial tone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long wait here! Trust me, the ending is happy! I pinkie promise :P Thanks for reading, let me know what you think :) For some reason italics wouldn't work... sorry about that :(


	26. Chapter 26

“Adam, it’s okay. Just breathe with me.” Jesse spoke softly, a hand resting on Adam’s back.

“I’ve messed it all up Jess, he won’t even talk to me. I’ve fucked up big time.” Adam sobbed, his breathing still coming in short, sharp bursts, his vision was beginning to blur slightly as everything span. He tightened his grip on Jesse.

“Breathe Adam.” Jesse shouted, hoping this would get through to him. His attention was solely on Adam, Adam who was so upset he was quickly working his way towards passing out. “In and out Adam, nice and slow.” It worked for a short time, the breathing although shaky was slower and a little deeper. But then the door clicked shut, footsteps were heard and Carson appeared at the door.

“What the fuck did you do?” He asked, clearly annoyed and angry.

“I. I fucked up. He. And. He’s right. I’m not. I promise. But. I’m an asshole.” Adam couldn’t speak properly, the words falling over each other, his breathing more erratic once more.

“Adam, shush, come on breathe for me.” Jesse prompted, hoping to regain Adam’s attention. But Adam was stumbling to his feet, gripping the counter for some support because the world was still spinning.

“I mean it Carson. I’m not. I love him. I. I was going to propose. She’s getting the ring.” Adam sobbed, tripping as he approached Carson, he looked like a mad man.

“He’s broken Adam.” Carson spoke gently, because the man before him was just a shell of Adam.

“I know. And that’s all on me.” It was spoken as a heartbroken whisper, Adam giving up on his journey to Carson and slowly falling to the floor. His head falling back to rest on the counter, eyes drifting shut as tears continued their course down his face.

“I’ll talk to him Adam. I’ll see what I can do.” Carson promised, the words barely registered to Adam.

“I think he needs to sleep or something.” Jesse smiled sadly, the breathing finally slowing a little, although seeming to have more rhythm now. “I’ve got this one. You can have Blake.” Carson nodded, giving Adam one last look of concern before hurrying down to the studio.

 

 

Blake had curled up into the smallest ball possible, he felt like a child, like an over-grown heartbroken child.

“Blake, let me in buddy.” At Carson’s familiar and kind voice he scrambled to the door, opening it just enough to allow him to get in and then slamming it closed again. “You okay?” Blake just shrugged, struggling to verbalise exactly how he felt.

“I. I love him.”

“He loves you.”

“No, he doesn’t. Carson, I promise I sa-“

“I promise you Blake, he loves you.” Carson interrupted, placing a comforting hand on the southern man’s shoulder. “What you think you saw, well, really it couldn’t be further from the truth. He loves you Blake. He’d do anything for you.”

“Is he okay?” The question was a quiet one, but one that had been haunting Blake for a while.

“No.” He didn’t explain himself, just left it at that. Blake’s eyes rose to meet his, the concern painfully clear. At that point there was a muffled shout, something akin to a scream and Blake seemed to make some sort of decision. He rushed to his feet and was out the door in seconds. Soon enough he was stood at the kitchen door, eyes on Adam’s slumped body.

“Ads?” Adam slowly raised his head, his face unnaturally pale.

“Jesse left.” He sighed. “I’m sorry Blake. You deserve better.”

“Adam, I should have listened to you.” Blake moved closer to Adam, the sight before him chilled him to the bone, Adam was never like this. Never.

“No. I’m an asshole Blake.”

“Tell me. Explain to me what was going on.” Blake pleaded, broken and wet eyes met his and he wanted to pull Adam close and kiss him silly right then but he refrained. He needs to know.

“I wanted to propose.” His heart leapt, guilt creeping up on him. “We’d talked about it and I wanted to take that step, so I got in touch with a jeweller. Juliet. She’s getting the rings, she’s a sweet girl. But it’s nothing more, and it would never be. You are the only one for me Blake.”

“Adam. I’m so sorry.”

“I know, you’ll want to leave now. It’s okay. I’ll manage.” Blake’s face scrunched up in confusion as he searched Adam’s face for signs of a joke.

“No you idiot, I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions. I’m not leaving. You won’t get rid of me that quickly.” It sparked a light in Adam’s eyes, he was still unnaturally pale and screamed ‘broken man’ but it was a start.

“Let me do it properly.” Adam jumped to his feet, running to a cupboard no one uses and searching through the crap there. Returning with a box and falling to one knee. “Blake, I’m an asshole. And you are too. Let’s be asshole’s together?” The cocky little smirk was back with a loving gleam in his eye and Blake couldn’t hold in the hearty chuckle.

“Of course, ya big idiot! No one else would have me.” He laughed, pulling Adam in for a kiss.

“Don’t forget the ring Cowboy.” Adam pushed Blake away, taking out one of the rings and handing it over.

“I’ll never take it off.” Blake was completely serious. What they have is designed to last forever, he’ll be damned if he’s letting it slip away. “Now, what was the screaming about?”

“Band trouble.” Adam shrugged, turning away. This, more than anything, spoke volumes. He clearly didn’t want to talk about it, it was clearly unresolved and it would definitely resurface later on. But for now, Blake was willing to let it slide.

“Where you going Rock Star?” Blake grabbed Adam’s arm and pulled him back to him.

“TV.” Adam shrugged, looking a little confused.

“I don’t think so. We have something to celebrate.” Blake winked playfully, moving in to kiss Adam passionately.

“In that case, how about the bedroom?” Adam suggested, pressing his body against Blake in a way that had his throat going dry.

“I think I can handle that.” Blake replied hoarsely, spinning Adam against the counter for a kiss. He was met with receptive lips that opened immediately, allowing Blake’s tongue entrance. There were breathy moans and shameless rutting before Blake finally allowed Adam to move. 

“Bedroom.” Adam panted desperately, gripping Blake’s shirt in his fist and tugging him up the stairs. Blake followed without a word, tripping over his own feet a few times, keeping up with Adam was a challenge of it’s own.

“God, you’re so hot.” A gasp escaping Blake’s lips as he watched his boyfriend – no, his fiancé – undress, Adam was clearly putting on show. He pushed Blake to the bed, until the back of his knees hit and he was left sitting there. Adam took a small step back, wiggling his eyebrows.

“You can look, but don’t touch.” He teased, licking his lips slowly as he started to unbutton his shirt. Blake watched on in awe, eyes taking in every expanse of skin as Adam revealed it, he was finding it increasingly hard to not touch Adam. It was when those unfairly tight skinny jeans fell to the floor that Blake lost control, the bulging erection was begging for attention and Blake was going to give him it. He was wrapped around Adam in seconds. “What happened to don’t touch?”

“You.” Blake growled, lips landing on Adam’s neck as he pushed him back onto the bed, his fingers gliding over skin, gently tracing over tattoo’s. “You look so pretty.” He complimented, leaning down to kiss Adam’s collarbone, then moved down and down and down. Until he had his mouth on Adam’s clothed erection, a moan escaped Adam’s mouth at the unexpected (but much required) contact.

“Fuck Blake.” Adam gasped, hips bucking uncontrollably.

“Later baby, I’m gunna treat you first.” Blake smiled up at Adam, that sight alone had Adam’s cock twitching painfully, the gleam in Blake’s eyes held a promise of an eventful night. His boxers were slowly (too slowly) removed from his body, before being thrown into a corner, there was just a second of hesitation before Blake had his mouth on Adam’s dick. That was when things started getting a little messier, Adam’s hips were bucking now, that was until Blake’s strong hands held him down. The room was filled with dirty noises, Blake’s slurping as he moved up and down, humming in approval as Adam moaned uncontrollably and without any effort to restrain himself.

“I’m gunna come Blake.” Adam warned, thinking Blake would pull back. Blake had other plans. And when Adam realised this he came with a cry in Blake’s mouth. “That was so hot.” Adam panted after riding out his orgasm.

“You’re hot.” Blake’s mouth was on his, pressing Adam’s lithe body back into the mattress. 

“And you’re wearing too many clothes.” Adam whined as he went to touch Blake’s chest, to reach his hand round Blake’s throbbing cock. Blake needed no more prompting to get naked, there was no show for Adam, just frantic removal of clothing. So frantic that Blake ripped his shirt, not that he cares. (Yet anyway, because that was one of his favourite shirts.) 

“Better?”

“Mmhmm.” Adam hummed, hands on Blake as Blake continued to kiss him silly, before moving those lips to other places. “Blake, please fuck me?” The way Adam looked at him then, so innocently through long dark eyelashes, was sinful and Blake could have come from that alone. He didn’t answer, instead reaching to the bedside table with the lube on and coating himself generously before inserting a finger. Adam didn’t need much prep, and the thought of that alone had Blake’s cock begging for attention and growing impossibly harder.

“You ready baby?”

“Just do it!” Adam groaned, which morphed into a moan when he felt Blake slowly push into him.

“You feel so good.” Blake gasped, thrusting slowly into his lover, pressing loving kisses to his face and neck, and pretty much anywhere he could reach.

“If you don’t move any faster, I might have to take back the ring.” Adam threatened, trying to move himself but Blake’s iron-grip kept him still.

“It’s supposed to be passionate.” Blake huffed a laugh at Adam’s desperation.

“It’s a fucking pain is what it is. Fuck. Me. Harder.” Adam ordered, wiggling Blake’s grip a little looser before taking control of the situation. He flipped them round and rode Blake’s cock till they were both screaming with the force of their orgasms.

“Jesus.” 

“You can call me Adam.” Adam joked, nuzzling closer to Blake.

“I love you Adam.”

“I love you too Blake.” It was a promise. It was a statement. It was a reminder. For them, this would never change. Because sometimes, love is too strong to be broken. Blake and Adam would never be broken. They’d get bruised, countless times, they’ve had more than their fair share of difficulties (and continue to be laughed at by fate) but in the end they’ll always end up together. They could never leave each other. They are two halves of the same whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happiness and Cuddles!!!!! There will be a few more chapters, but they aren't written yet so I don't know what will happen :) Let me know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. So I just wanted to get this out there, would love to hear your thoughts on this thing guys! It is a multi-chapter thing, although I have no idea where this thing is going exactly... Just going to have to wait and see :'D


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